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[Introductory] Laravel sucks. Here's 100 reasons why

Mitchell
・2 min read

I am going to assume you're reading this because you're pondering "But, how could one of the most popular frameworks in PHP suck?".

Well, fellow reader, that is I am here today; to assume things, waste my own time, waste your time, type some words that most people don't care about or don't want to know, just so I can feel like I have a voice in some weird attempt to validate my beliefs.

Upcoming topics

Each post in this 100 part series will be on a single topic.

  • Laravel encourages poor programming practices (BuT iTs A fEaTuRE)
  • Painful type-hinting (both phpDoc & literals)
  • Why Taylor Otwell's twitter followers are the worst
  • How developers learn "Laravel", not PHP
  • Laravel tinker
  • Why we should not build "REST" APIs with Laravel
  • Lumen should not exist
  • Test helpers not helping
  • Taylor Otwell's tweets
  • Macros
  • The generosity of Laracon organisers
  • Obvious pain points with the artisan scheduler
  • The insulting lack of credit where it's due

This is not an exhaustive list above. Just providing an idea on the subjects to come.

What this series will not do

Talk about any of the positives to do with Laravel. We honestly have enough advocates and blogs on that already, go read those instead.

I'm going to be real and say I might get bored of writing these. It's very possible I will never make it to part 100, but here's to being 'ambitious'.

Post formatting

Sometimes posts in this series will be extremely technical, others will be more abstract or conceptual. Sometimes I will strawman, sometimes it might be blatantly rude, or wrong. I will try and tag them appropriately so you can filter what is boring to you.

Comment

Obviously with a series named "100 reasons Laravel sucks" my stance is very clear. You can try and argue and change my mind in the comments, but you'll be wasting your own time - just as I am here writing this.


I'm calling it a day here at post #1. We've covered the overview & introduction which serves part 1's purpose.

Part #2 will be covering "Laravel encourages poor programming practices" - coming later this week.

Discussion (2)

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Nicolas Bailly

Following you. I'm curious to see if this is going to be ironic or not.

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Matt Withoos

Looking forward to it. Will the links to the new posts be added here via edits?