Who am I?

Hi!
I am ..
I strongly dislike this part. The part where you should tell who you are. And this is why.
Actually I don't really know who I am, at least in some aspects. I know where I'm from and where I have ended up and how it has affected and changed me. I know I am a wife, nature lover etc, but I don't know who I am professionally. I don't have any specific education, I have worked in many different positions in unrelated fields and due to covid I ended up as unemployed. I was working in food industry in a country whos language I don't speak. Finding a job seemed pretty impossible since everything was closed down. My already fragile mental health took a big hit and here came the darkest months of my life. Most of the days I couldn't even get out of the bed, not to mention that brushing my hair or teeth lost the importance.. But luckily the sun always rises and things got a little better at home and financially so I started to come out of my deep and dark depression. I started to find new interests and ideas of how to get out of this hole I was. And one of the new - well, not new, an old and reoccurring one - was web development. Since I didn't have a job I finally had the time to continue my long lost studies with HTML and CSS and add some JavaScript on top of that. I invested in some online courses and I was finally seeing some light at the end of the tunnel of who I could be in the future! Couple of months later I finished my courses and realized how naive I was thinking a 4-month course would land me a job.. There is so much more to learn before anybody would hire me!
Okei. I have already spent money on this - I cannot stop now. Next I need to learn some React! Did some digging, found some free courses and.. those little anxiety and depression demons started telling me how useless this all is and how I will never get a job in this field without any proper education and yada yada. And then came the Christmas when I flew back home, then I got covid and got stuck back home for longer than planned and all this was the "perfect excuse" to postpone the courses. But the thing with having those demons is that the more you postpone, the more you feel guilty, the more you feel guilty, the more you feel worthless and the list goes on! Okei. Another winter is passing and I am getting help from outside to deal with my mental health and now THIS is the time to get back on track. It is VERY overwhelming, but this is what I want!
Somehow I ended up on this site while reading on how to become a developer and something inside made me register and to start writing.. I've never been a writer type - I don't think I'm good at it and I am also very bad at expressing myself. But I think if I will write here for myself about my struggles and achievements on this path I'm on, it'll make it just a little bit easier to focus on the goal and the road to there.
So this is my road of teaching myself how to code while trying to stay above the water when my mind is trying to pull me down.
-Bye