What if drivers were hired like software developers?
Job title: car driver
Job requirements: professional skills in driving normal- and heavy-freight cars, buses and trucks, trolley buses, trams, subway trains, tractors, shovel diggers, modern light and heavy tanks currently in use in NATO countries.
Rally and extreme driving skills are highly desirable.
Formula-1 driving experience is a huge plus.
Knowledge and experience in repairing piston and rotor/Wankel engines, automatic and manual transmissions, ignition systems, board computers and car-audio systems by world-known manufacturers - obligatory.
ABS, ABD, GPS, A/C, ACC, ESP, VVT and TDi.
Experience with car-painting and body repair is a plus.
The applicants must have certificates by BMW, General Motors and Bosch, but not older than two years.
Education requirements: Bachelor's Degree of Engineering.
Top comments (4)
An oldie but a goodie. It could be found online in many places, I think the original author is unknown.
Interviewer: So, you're a carpenter, are you?
Carpenter: That's right, that's what I do.
Interviewer: How long have you been doing it?
Carpenter: Ten years.
Interviewer: Great, that's good. Now, I have a few technical questions to ask you to see if you're a fit for our team. OK?
Carpenter: Sure, that'd be fine.
Interviewer: First of all, we're working in a subdivision building a lot of brown houses. Have you built a lot of brown houses before?
Carpenter: Well, I'm a carpenter, so I build houses, and people pretty much paint them the way they want.
Interviewer: Yes, I understand that, but can you give me an idea of how much experience you have with brown? Roughly.
Carpenter: Gosh, I really don't know. Once they're built I don't care what color they get painted. Maybe six months?
Interviewer: Six months? Well, we were looking for someone with a lot more brown experience, but let me ask you some more questions.
Carpenter: Well, OK, but paint is paint, you know.
Interviewer: Yes, well. What about walnut?
Carpenter: What about it?
Interviewer: Have you worked much with walnut?
Carpenter: Sure, walnut, pine, oak, mahogony -- you name it.
Interviewer: But how many years of walnut do you have?
Carpenter: Gosh, I really don't know -- was I supposed to be counting the walnut?
Interviewer: Well, estimate for me.
Carpenter: OK, I'd say I have a year and a half of walnut.
Interviewer: Would you say you're an entry level walnut guy or a walnut guru?
Carpenter: A walnut guru? What's a walnut guru? Sure, I've used walnut.
Interviewer: But you're not a walnut guru?
Carpenter: Well, I'm a carpenter, so I've worked with all kinds of wood, you know, and there are some differences, but I think if you're a good carpenter ...
Interviewer: Yes, yes, but we're using Walnut, is that OK?
Carpenter: Walnut is fine! Whatever you want. I'm a carpenter.
Interviewer: What about black walnut?
Carpenter: What about it?
Interviewer: Well we've had some walnut carpenters in here, but come to find out they weren't black walnut carpenters. Do you have black walnut experience?
Carpenter: Sure, a little. It'd be good to have more for my resume, I suppose.
Interviewer: OK. Hang on let me check off the box...
Carpenter: Go right ahead.
Interviewer: OK, one more thing for today. We're using Rock 5.1 to bang nails with. Have you used Rock 5.1?
Carpenter: [Turning white...] Well, I know a lot of carpenters are starting to use rocks to bang nails with since Craftsman bought a quarry, but you know, to be honest I've had more luck with my nailgun. Or a hammer, for that matter. I find I hit my fingers too much with the rock, and my other hand hurts because the rock is so big.
Interviewer: But other companies are using rocks. Are you saying rocks don't work?
Carpenter: No, I'm not saying rocks don't work, exactly, it's just that I think nail guns work better.
Interviewer: Well, our architects have all started using rocks, and they like it.
Carpenter: Well, sure they do, but I bang nails all day, and -- well, look, I need the work, so I'm definitely willing to use rocks if you want. I try to keep an open mind.
Interviewer: OK, well we have a few other candidates we're looking at, so we'll let you know.
Carpenter: Well, thanks for your time. I enjoyed meeting you.
NEXT DAY:
Ring...
Interviewer: Hello?
Carpenter: Hello. Remember me, I'm the carpenter you interviewed for the black walnut job. Just wanted to touch base to see if you've made a decision.
Interviewer: Actually, we have. We liked your experience overall, but we decided to go with someone who has done a lot of work with brown.
Carpenter: Really, is that it? So I lost the job because I didn't have enough brown?
Interviewer: Well, it was partly that, but partly we got the other fellow a lot cheaper.
Carpenter: Really -- how much experience does he have?
Interviewer: Well, he's not really a carpenter, he's a car salesman -- but he's sold a lot of brown cars and he's worked with walnut interiors.
Carpenter: [click]
Yes, it really is as bad as that. It's ludicrous. Is there some standard list they all pull down whenever there's a vacancy?
And to cap it all, the stress levels are usually higher and we don't get much better paid.
And must have won the triple crown, twice...
best!