It's been awhile.

#100daysofcode #mentalhealth #codenewbie

Hello again,

It's been nearly 4 months since my last post. I'm not really sure how to say this, but I know I need to admit it to someone, even if the someones are behind a digital device somewhere.

I hit a brick wall about 4 months ago, during the first months of the 'rona. I was laid off, as those of you who have read my posts know. I was doing great, programming my butt off, posting every day. Then some things kind of happened back to back that derailed me. My computer died, and I went a few weeks or so trying to carry on without it.
Then I hit a huge wall of depression.
Those who know me know I'm super upbeat, pretty stable guy. I'm not known for falling down when life hits me, I just roll with it and keep going.

This time, I took the hits hard. I'm honestly not sure where the depression came from, it felt like out of nowhere and I struggled to shake it.

I turned off all social media. I deleted facebook, signed out of twitter, linkedin, etc. I struggled to get up during the day. I slept extremely long hours. If it wasn't for my wife's patience I probably would have drove her nuts. I was a mess.

Honestly being on social media probably contributed some, with the constant bombardment. Pulling away from it was probably the best thing I could have done for my mental health.

Because I'm generally strong mental health wise, I ignored the feelings I was having and hoped they would go away. I wasnt suicidal or anything, but now I'm much more aware of my mental state from day to day. I'm still taking things day to day. I started programming again, although I'm trying to not pressure myself too much. I don't know if that contributed, but I'm not ruling anything out.
If I've learned anything from this, it's to not take my mental health for granted.

Thanks for reading.