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It's been awhile.

Programmer, humorist. Ruby on Rails padawan. Building signalfive, a privacy conscious ad-free social platform.
・2 min read

Hello again,

It's been nearly 4 months since my last post. I'm not really sure how to say this, but I know I need to admit it to someone, even if the someones are behind a digital device somewhere.

I hit a brick wall about 4 months ago, during the first months of the 'rona. I was laid off, as those of you who have read my posts know. I was doing great, programming my butt off, posting every day. Then some things kind of happened back to back that derailed me. My computer died, and I went a few weeks or so trying to carry on without it.
Then I hit a huge wall of depression.
Those who know me know I'm super upbeat, pretty stable guy. I'm not known for falling down when life hits me, I just roll with it and keep going.

This time, I took the hits hard. I'm honestly not sure where the depression came from, it felt like out of nowhere and I struggled to shake it.

I turned off all social media. I deleted facebook, signed out of twitter, linkedin, etc. I struggled to get up during the day. I slept extremely long hours. If it wasn't for my wife's patience I probably would have drove her nuts. I was a mess.

Honestly being on social media probably contributed some, with the constant bombardment. Pulling away from it was probably the best thing I could have done for my mental health.

Because I'm generally strong mental health wise, I ignored the feelings I was having and hoped they would go away. I wasnt suicidal or anything, but now I'm much more aware of my mental state from day to day. I'm still taking things day to day. I started programming again, although I'm trying to not pressure myself too much. I don't know if that contributed, but I'm not ruling anything out.
If I've learned anything from this, it's to not take my mental health for granted.

Thanks for reading.

Discussion (4)

alxtrnr profile image
Alex Turner

Good to have you back. One breath at a time.

jamesrweb profile image
James Robb

Glad to hear things are improving. Keep safe and healthy mate, that’s the main thing.

andevr profile image
drew Author

Thanks man. Im sorry I disappeared. I appreciate all the help you gave me.

jamesrweb profile image
James Robb

We can pick up where we left off whenever you’re ready mate, always happy to help.