It Has Been a While. We Need to Talk. Real Talk.

#webdev #programming #ai #javascript

We’ve all had times when work doesn’t line up with life.

You give your best, you bend over backwards, you try to make it fit. Sometimes it works for a while, sometimes it doesn’t.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Everyone has their own reasons, their own battles, and respect to the people who keep pushing through.

But there comes a point where the weight is too much. Family, health, or just life outside of work can pull harder than any job allows. And when that happens, you realize it’s time to play your hand in a different way.

Companies are built to get results. Their focus is deadlines, goals, and numbers. Smaller ones can sometimes show real care for people. In big or fast-growing ones, even if they try, it’s easy for people to get lost in the scale.

I used to think managers were the problem. Over time I saw it differently. Most aren’t bad — they’re just doing what they signed up for, measured on what the company values. Some truly care, but if I had to bet, most are simply doing what the business asks, not what you personally need.

It’s not personal. It’s just the way the system works.

That’s why even when you give everything, the moment you slip — because of something real, something human — there’s often no room for it.

Your focus drops, stress builds, you stop engaging the same way.

Instead of support, you feel pressure.
Instead of understanding, you get judged.

That doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human.

When you hit that point, the choice is yours. None of the options are easy, but they belong to you. You can look for a better place. You can try to build something of your own. Or you can take small steps — learning, planning, testing new paths while you keep things steady.

Whatever it looks like, the goal is to move toward a life and work that actually fit you.

I’ve seen this truth in small moments.

Once I had a call with a Verizon rep — we ended up real-talking for a few minutes. I even played some guitar, made her day, and felt her smile through the phone.

Another time I spoke with a healthcare rep, a former 911 dispatcher who had switched jobs and was happier than ever.

I always try to praise good reps when I meet them — so they feel recognized. Those little things matter. Add them up, and they make up our lives.

What I’ve learned is this: people often want to show what they’re going through. Most of the time, no one really listens. And when someone finally does, even for a minute, it feels lighter.

I needed that reminder too.

So I’m opening this up. No need for long stories or private details. Just a simple line about how you’re hanging in there, or what you’re dreaming about, can make a difference.

I’ll read and respond to every one. I’ve stressed more than I should have, and I don’t want you to.

If you want a simple way to share, here’s a format you can use:

Where I’m at right now
What’s weighing on me
What I’m hoping or dreaming about
One thing helping me hang in there

Example:

Where I’m at right now (ex. Feeling stuck in a job that drains me).
What’s weighing on me (ex. Long hours, no recognition).
What I’m hoping or dreaming about (ex. Starting my own thing, even small).
One thing helping me hang in there (ex. My kids — they remind me why I keep moving).

Life is short.

Too short to stay in a role that drains you, or to carry stress that eats you alive. There are no shortcuts. Real growth takes real time and real experience.