I’ve been building things for a long time.
Websites, apps, experiments.
Some finished, most quietly left in folders with names like “v3-final-final”.
But the funny thing is:
I actually feel more capable than I used to.
I can make things faster now.
I can try ideas without worrying whether I’ll “get stuck.”
I can build things I would have been too overwhelmed to even attempt before.
And the reason is simple:
I use AI when I code.
I don’t hide that.
But I also don’t really talk about it.
Because sometimes it feels like cheating.
The quiet voice that shows up after the code runs
I’ll write something with the help of AI — something I understand, something that works — and for a few seconds I feel good about it.
And then the voice arrives:
- “You didn’t really build this.”
- “A real developer would have typed it themselves.”
- “You’re just stitching together other people’s ideas.”
- “If someone saw your process, they’d think you’re faking it.”
It’s strange how quickly pride can turn into doubt.
The code runs.
The feature works.
The idea became real.
And still, I feel like I’ve done something wrong.
I thought the struggle was the work
That’s the part I didn’t notice until recently.
I used to believe that the value of programming was in how hard it was.
That the more I struggled, the more it “counted.”
That if something came easily, it didn’t mean anything.
So when AI made parts of the work lighter, easier, gentler —
I didn’t feel smarter or faster.
I felt less real.
But the real point was never the keystrokes
It wasn’t about typing every line.
It wasn’t about remembering every syntax detail.
It wasn’t about wrestling with the same error for six hours to prove I deserved to make things.
The value was always in the thing I wanted to make.
The idea.
The intention.
The story.
The usefulness.
The feeling it gives someone else.
AI didn’t replace that.
It just removed some of the friction between imagination and reality.
And maybe that’s okay.
Maybe the creativity was mine the whole time
Maybe:
- The idea was mine.
- The direction was mine.
- The decision-making was mine.
- The understanding was mine.
- The taste — the part that says “Yes, this feels right” — was mine.
Maybe AI didn’t make me less of a developer.
Maybe it made me more able to express the developer I already was.
If you feel this too
If you’ve ever looked at working code you wrote with help
and felt proud and ashamed at the same time,
you’re not alone.
A lot of us are quietly carrying that feeling.
And maybe the gentlest thing we can tell ourselves is:
The work was never about proving your worth.
It was about bringing something into the world that didn’t exist before.
And you did that.
That counts.
Top comments (1)
This hit deeply. I’ve been through the same — that strange guilt of using AI and feeling like I’m “cheating.” But the truth is, AI just expands what we’re capable of creating. The creativity and direction were always ours. Beautifully written reminder. 💛