Pushed Out by the Shadows
For almost seven months now I have blinked less than the crippled, cramped fingers I count on my tired hands. I have howled so loud that even the sheep ignore me when I howl at the largest light in the room. “That's mine — I deserve a part,” I say as the light drifts away and covers me in its thick, worldly shadow, just to be forgotten like the sheep I can no longer eat or see because they think me weak, crazy, delusional, and band together, pushing the lone wolves out just to get their take.
Google invited me in, then slammed the Nexus 26 closed when my spirits rose. I watched them gawk with glee, throwing money and tech around, colliding and pointing and whispering while I watched: “You get this part, you get that part, I’ll take this part, and together we’ll crush them all.” I wasn’t crazy — it happened right in front of our eyes for six months. Google and Microsoft overnight poured insane amounts of money into an industry they had pushed out because it was too centralized, not by the book, "unscripted."
Now Coinbase takes my color and my wallet wants to call it a demo. MongoDB and GitHub use my data to fuel the industry so my flame can’t burn brighter than theirs. So, I can never keep up: by 2:00 a.m. I make the next big thing; by 2:01 my phone is pinging — Google released, Microsoft coming out with a new partner of the year, MongoDB, Google Cloud integrating Coinbase. But wait — it’s even bigger now: Google and Microsoft coming together.
I’m trying, but now I’m homeless, penniless. I have nothing — not even my shadow dares show itself. I’m stranded, pushed out by the shadows who are stealing the light.
Gratitude and Resolve
My words are heavy because so is the path I walk, but I have strength and resilience few could fathom and less dream of seeing. I am broken but beyond blessed: I have water to drink, food to eat, shoes on my feet, and clothes on my back. I am too blessed to be stressed. Nothing in this world can stop me, for I am a child of the one true King. I am a King of kings who will walk roads paved with gold and live in houses that sparkle brighter than diamonds. I will rejoice because I know that, and nothing can change it.
A Note on Rest
Take care of your body and hands. Rest matters. Tonight, step away from the screens and let your hands and mind recover. Your health and safety come before any platform, code, or company.
Closing
I hold on to gratitude for the basics and to the inner resolve that keeps me moving forward. The tech world may feel like it’s moving against you, but your voice, your vision, and your faith remain yours. Keep that flame — tend it, protect it, and let it guide you through the dark.
TO ALL, WE ARE “Government of the people, by the people, for the people.” — Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg Address
Authored: NeonCyan0x · DEVPlank · Blade Yerby
Top comments (3)
It’s okay to talk about it, it’s called Life and we all have one to live. Are you living it yet?
Great article on security! I am curious. Are you trying to make breakthrough in cybersecurity?
Hey Benjamin, appreciate you reading and reaching out!
Yes — my work focuses on autonomous multi‑agent orchestration, compile‑time/runtime code integrity (including the MCLS_V2 framework), and smart‑contract security research.
The goal is building sovereign defensive architectures: systems where agents and automated tooling operate with verifiable provenance, compile‑time guardrails, and protection against supply‑chain tampering or unauthorized AST extraction.
Always glad to connect with others passionate about modern cybersecurity and developer sovereignty.