Disclaimer: This article is NOT AI generated.
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Exactly a week ago, I finally mustered up the courage to resign from my Full time SDE job at a Startup. I had been working there for 2 years. Being a Remote role, I had a lot of spare time, which I thought I would be able to utilize for the better. Alas, not everything goes according to plan...
The Past
What my day looked like
My work day involved Programming, System design, Debugging and some project management. The usual for any Dev. Best all, my employer understood development takes time and effort, so there were never any unreasonable deadlines. I would work at my decided timings without much resistance.
It was not a stressful job by any margin, still the tiniest of commitments would loom over my head like a sword. There was perpetual worry about getting the task done, but very little action in the direction. I couldn't work before the work day, as I would keep thinking of the commitment, nor after finishing my work day, as I would get too tired.
Addressing the Elephant in the Code: AI
So! My founder created a POC of an idea from scratch in some LLM. Pitched it to stakeholders, and then came to me with a 3-month deadline. I wasn't that worried initially as I did not have any access to the codebase anyways. I was only suppose to test the output being produced. But oh boy, the testing resulted in so many vulnerabilities and security issues being found out that I got worried. If I was to inherit this codebase, it would take months to make sense out of it. And maybe years to eventually refactor it. Not to mention, the sleepless nights it would lead up to. This was an undertaking I couldn't see myself take up.
The Cycle of Disappointment
It wasn't like I did not try to make the side-hustle-passive-income thing work. I tried countless times. More like every 3 days followed by a phase of disappointment for 3 more days. This wasn't a pleasurable experience. I just felt stuck. Like a cart wheel stuck in mud, putting in immense effort but making zilch progress.
My initial effort was towards improving the project management and development practices at my org. Maybe if I improve these things, I would be able to disassociate from my job more efficiently? What if I learn Agile? Or Scrum? Or TDD? I have heard DDD is great? Let's learn BDD while we are at it? That would surely improve things, right?
But each new concept would give me new hope, and take it away in the same breath. I wish it did work, so I could keep working at my org. Well, I am here now, so we know the answer already!
My Big Dreams
Since it was a Remote role, I started interacting with the online tech communities a lot more. I was star-struck by the breadth of things a Dev can delve into, from Linux Ricing to Mech Ergo keyboards (Courtesy of ThePrimeagen), Development Setups to Desk Setups, OSS contributors to Self hosted setups and Embedded systems to Game Dev. I wanted to work and create software like the expert programmers I saw online. I wanted to set up the best rice AND create successful Open Source software AND share my insights with other devs, and… and… the list goes on. Not to forget Freelancing, Opening an Agency, etc, etc…
It could be, that my inability to side hustle was caused by the sheer volume of things I wanted to get into. But each new thing gave me just that much more excitement to forget about work and drown in this new world of creativity.
What pushed me to Quit
To summarize in some bullet points:
- No control and autonomy over 8 hours of my day
- The urge to try out new things, learn new languages and frameworks, wanting to love programming again just like back in college.
- Wanting to experience freedom and do things at my own pace for once.
- The fact that being in a Startup, I would eventually end up working for a "shareholder" and generating "shareholder value", which, put politely, I am not fond of.
- Savings for the next 6 months. (I mean, I still need money)
- Knowing that my Family would support me.
- I just couldn't wait anymore. I was desperate to see my ideas materialize.
The Present
And here I am now. Writing my first ever blog post which I am soon to publish. Working such long hours with several times the intensity as before, and still not getting exhausted.
For the next few months, I will be working part time at my current org. Not more than a few days in the month, but the extra cash will still help.
Above all, I am simply excited for the next 6 months and what it will bring. New connections, new opportunities and new learnings. There is a tinge of nervousness as well, but let's ignore that.
The Future
Let us imagine 2 timelines:
Looking for a Job! Again!!!
So, no endeavour of mine works, and I end up in the Job market again. Which might not be good, looking at the current hiring landscape.
But, whatever I would have created in these months should surely help me to stand out. At least, I believe so...
The best outcome here would still be the satisfaction that I gave myself a chance of acting on my thoughts
I am Self Employed! Yeah!!!
Well the chances of this happening are the same as that of finding a needle in a haystack, but let us indulge:
One of my endeavors of either OSS, Content creation or Freelancing reaches a point where I am able to sustain myself comfortably, which allows me to produce more valuable software for the world. And using this leverage, I start creating Productivity App ecosystem with Notes, timers, tasks, everything on your device in the form of files that you own, syncing them anyway you want, all by a OSS owned by a non-profit.
In both the scenarios, I would at least have some projects I would be proud of.
All I am focusing on now is ticking off as many items as I can from my bucket list. And enjoy every minute of it…
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