My laptop sounds like it is preparing for a low-orbit launch. The fan is screaming. The metal chassis is hot enough to burn my palms.
And the reason is not a complex data simulation, a massive Docker build, or a rogue machine learning model.
The reason is that I currently have 147 browser tabs open, and I am emotionally incapable of closing a single one of them.
Look at your browser right now. Look at the top bar. If the icons have shrunk so much that they are just a solid, unreadable line of pixelated colors, you know exactly the kind of psychological trap I am talking about. We need to talk about this digital hoarding, because it is entirely out of control.
The Insurance Policy (aka The Fixed Bug)
There is a Stack Overflow thread sitting in my third window. It is about a minor routing bug I fixed last Tuesday. The code is committed. The pull request is merged. The feature is literally running in production.
But I cannot close the tab. What if the bug comes back? What if the server somehow forgets the solution and I have to find the exact answer again? Closing that tab feels like throwing away a compass in the middle of a dark forest. I am keeping it open as a pathetic insurance policy against my own future incompetence.
The Aspirational Lie
Then we have the aspirational tabs. You know exactly the ones I mean. A massive, ten-thousand-word article on the memory management architecture of Rust. A tutorial on a complex state machine concept. You opened them three weeks ago because you wanted to be the kind of developer who reads deep technical literature over a quiet morning coffee.
You are never going to read them. You are going to stare blankly at your screen while your pipeline fails for the fourth time. But keeping those tabs open is a performance. It is a lie we tell ourselves to feel intellectually superior. Closing them means admitting defeat. It means looking in the mirror and accepting that you are just a regular person trying to survive the sprint, not a software architect visionary.
The 64GB Ram Lie
We buy machines with 64 gigabytes of RAM. We tell our managers we need the memory to run heavy local environments and databases. That is a complete fabrication.
We need 64 gigabytes of RAM to sustain our psychological inability to let go of a GitHub issue we clicked on by mistake last month. We are slowly destroying our expensive hardware to feed our emotional insecurities.
The Physical Panic of the Accidental Click
The absolute worst part is the physical panic of the accidental click. You aim for one specific tab, your hand twitches, and you hit the little cross on the entire window. A cold sweat breaks out immediately. Your heart rate spikes.
You frantically smash the keyboard shortcut to reopen closed windows, holding your breath until all forty tabs slowly resurrect from the dead. You did not even know what half of those tabs were. You could not name three of them if your life depended on it. You just desperately needed the comfort of the clutter.
Closing a tab is an act of finality. It means a task is truly done, an idea is abandoned, or a problem is solved. And in an industry where nothing ever feels completely finished, where the code is always evolving and breaking, holding onto those tabs is our pathetic way of keeping control. They are a museum of out-lived anxiety and unfinished thoughts.
I am not going to tell you to clear your workspace. I am not going to write a motivational guide on digital minimalism, because I am clearly in no position to give advice. I am just going to ask you to do one thing.
Find one tab. Just one. Maybe an API documentation page for a version of a library you stopped using two years ago. Look at it. Thank it for its service. And close it.
Your laptop fan might just quiet down for half a second.
Top comments (4)
Haha I don’t even keep those architectural gems open in tabs anymore 😄 I’ve accepted I’m just a random dev at this point 😂
Instead I’ve got YouTube full of workouts I plan to do… with very mixed execution 😅
Haha! the rabbit hole of exercise, i think we have all been down that road 😂 btw how did your performance go?!
The last time I visited my mother I closed over 400 tabs on her browser, because of the tendency of site builders to force opening everything they possibly can in a new tab. She never used the back button because it never worked properly, for exactly the same reason.
You know what? It didn't slow her ancient machine down noticeably.
But if the developers trusted her with control over her machine, she'd probably never use tabs at all.
People have tabs open for a lot of reasons. Most of them are to do with the deliberate anti-features developers use. The remainder are to do with well-meaning developers relying on AI answers which are trained on the slop produced by millions of the first camp of anti-feature proponents.
target="_blank"is a sledgehammer people use on every "external" link. In board meetings, infinite scroll is a somehow pitched as a "feature" and not a "complete UX shitshow".There is no solution but to ask developers to learn the basics of development, and allow users to be confident about the basics of web browsers.
Hahaha funniest dev.to article ever ... well, here's what I do, maybe it's useful (probably not, haha):
I just drag the URLs of those open tabs to my desktop, and then I move them to a "TO DO - READ THIS LATER !" folder - which I never do :P - however, I can (and will) then close those tabs!
(and even then I still have 35 to 40 tabs open - it's a disease !)