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Vishnu Chilamakuru
Vishnu Chilamakuru

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Being Assertive but not aggressive

Being assertive and not aggressive helps one to go to greater heights in life. There is a very thin line difference between these two and it’s very important to know the difference between these two.

Healthy assertiveness is respectful

Being assertive is nothing but confidently expressing your thoughts or opinion.

Aggressiveness is often an impulse

An aggressive individual communicates in a way that’s rude, dismissive, and even threatening.

Below are a few examples of each behaviour in different situations:

1.Expressing Disagreement

  • Assertiveness: Listening to the other person, and then sharing a counter opinion after the other person has finished speaking.
  • Aggressiveness: Interrupting the other person and speaking over him or her.

2.Sharing ideas in a group

  • Assertiveness: Participating in the group dialogue. Allowing others to share their ideas, and expressing thoughts on those ideas in a respectful manner.
  • Aggressiveness: Trying to dominate the group dialogue. Speaking over others, and tearing their ideas down without consideration for their feelings.

3.Seeking silence in the public forum

  • Assertiveness: Asking the offender to lower his or her voice so you can continue your work.
  • Aggressiveness: Demanding the offender to lower his or her voice, and even threatening violence for noncompliance.

4.Seeking rework for the improperly done task

  • Assertiveness: Explaining the problem and asking him or her to remake the work.
  • Aggressiveness: Scolding him/her for the mistake, and demanding the issue to get fixed.

5.Saying no when someone asks for help

  • Assertiveness: Being direct in declining the request. Suggesting another person who may be able to help the requestor.
  • Aggressiveness: Barking “NO!” at the requestor and dismissing or make seem him/her unimportant for asking.

Overall idea

An aggressive person responds in an inconsiderate manner and often regrets doing later.

By contrast, assertiveness is planned, thoughtful, and considerate. An assertive person communicates his or her position with clarity while taking the other person’s feelings into account.

Be assertive but not aggressive.. !!!

Top comments (4)

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jeffthorsen777 profile image
Jeff Thorsen • Edited

Our world has become very cruel lately. Wars, social inequality, pandemic, constant stress. These things greatly affects a person. And global violence can turn into a phase of domestic violence. I wrote a term paper on this topic. I decided to check over here to see how knowledgeable I am on this topic. I wanted to turn public attention to this problem.

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dailydevtips1 profile image
Chris Bongers

I tend to become the agressive person when my assertiveness is misread 😳

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vishnuchilamakuru profile image
Vishnu Chilamakuru

Probably people will think you are aggressive when you say no to them. I feel this book The Art of saying No (amazon.in/dp/B074LZG7KS/ref=cm_sw_...) has some tips how to say no without hurting the others.

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dailydevtips1 profile image
Chris Bongers

Nice great tip! Added to my reading list