When I officially became a team lead, I thought leadership meant having all the answers, making all the decisions, and fixing every problem myself.
Spoiler: it doesn’t 😅
What actually shaped me into a better leader were the mistakes I made — the moments that forced me to slow down, reflect, and change how I work with people.
Here are six lessons that came from real missteps:
🧠 1. Trying to do everything myself
When I started leading, I thought being a “good lead” meant handling everything — planning, testing, reporting, even small fixes.
I believed my team’s success depended on my effort.
But all I did was burn myself out and slow everyone down.
✅ Lesson: Delegation is not a weakness — it’s trust.
Your team grows when they own decisions. You grow when you let them.
💬 2. Avoiding difficult conversations
There were moments when I saw issues — misalignment, low performance, missed expectations — but I stayed silent to “keep the good mood” because I haaaate complaining about the people and making them feel incorrect. But...
That silence cost more than any awkward talk ever would.
✅ Lesson: Honest feedback is care, not conflict.
Tough conversations build clarity and respect — avoiding them builds frustration.
📊 3. Measuring output, not impact
At one point, I was obsessed with numbers:
How many test cases? How many bugs? How many tickets closed?
But quantity isn’t about the quality.
✅ Lesson: A leader should measure impact, not just output.
Did our work make the product better? Did it help users? Did it reduce risk?
Those are the questions that matter.
👑 4. Thinking leadership is about titles
When I got my first “lead” title, I felt pressure to act the part — to always be the one deciding, speaking, guiding.
It took time to realize that leadership isn’t something you get promoted into.
✅ Lesson: Leadership is about influence, not position.
Anyone can lead from any seat if they inspire trust and take responsibility.
🎯 5. Overcommunicating tasks, undercommunicating vision
Early on, I talked a lot about tasks — what to do, when to do it, how to do it.
But I rarely talked about why it mattered.
✅ Lesson: Teams don’t get motivated by to-do lists — they get motivated by purpose.
When people understand the “why,” they’ll figure out the “how.”
🎉 6. Forgetting to celebrate small wins
We were always chasing the next milestone, the next release, the next sprint.
But we rarely paused to appreciate what we’d already achieved.
✅ Lesson: Celebration builds culture.
Recognizing small wins reminds the team (and yourself) that progress matters — even if it’s not perfect.
🤘 Final Thoughts
Being a leader isn’t about avoiding mistakes.
It’s about learning faster than you repeat them.
Every wrong decision, every awkward feedback session, every misjudged moment — they’re all part of your growth story.
Leadership isn’t perfection.
It’s progress, reflection, and a lot of humility.
💭 What mistake taught you the most as a leader?
Drop it in the comments and let’s learn from each other.
Top comments (22)
This was a great post... Loved how you shared your mistakes and what they taught you.
Look when you’re in the middle of the battle, you can’t swing everyone’s sword for them.
A leader’s real job is to prepare the team before the fight to teach, guide, and build instincts.
Like a parent teaching their child good values, once they’ve learned, you can trust they’ll make the right move even when you’re not there...
Thanks a lot for sharing that perspective! 🙏
I truly believe one of the strongest things any leader (or parent) can do is show that everyone makes mistakes — and that’s okay. What really matters is how you respond to them: do you accept, reflect, and learn?
Once I changed my mindset about mistakes, I stopped being afraid of making them — because now I know how to handle and grow from them))
Hi! Great post, thanks for publishing… You're right, leadership involves learning from mistakes and embracing progress over perfection. Reflecting on experiences fosters growth and humility.
I've made a lot of mistakes too, and learned from, and anyway, that's how you learn best.
Thanks so much, Pascal! 🙏 Totally agree, reflection is really the key part. Mistakes are just data points if we take time to analyze them. Love how you put it — “that’s how you learn best.” Couldn’t agree more!
Love this!
The lessons feel so real especially the part about measuring impact over output and delegating properly. Leadership is definitely more about influence, reflection, and humility than titles or doing it all yourself. Thanks for sharing these insights reminded me to celebrate the small wins with my team today!
Thank you! ❤️ I’m so glad it resonated! I love that you celebrated wins with your team — that’s exactly what builds connection and motivation. What did you highlight? I’ve learned that those small wins often matter even more than big milestones.
Great post, completely agree!
One of the biggest challenges at the start of our leadership journey is managing the many different personalities on the team. We need to learn how to guide each person based on their unique skills and attitudes, and importantly, not take things personally. After all, we are all in the same boat, working together towards our goals, whether they are small, medium, or large.
Thank you, Israel! I completely agree — navigating the many different personalities on a team is one of the hardest and most rewarding parts of leadership.
I’ve found that the concept from Radical Candor of caring personally while challenging directly really ties into what you mentioned: when you stop taking things personally and instead meet each person where they are, you build both trust and high performance. (In Scott’s framework, that’s exactly how you shift from just doing tasks to building strong relationships and results.) booksthatslay.com/radical-candor-s...
For example: when a team member has a different attitude, you show you care by understanding their unique skills or motivations; then you challenge by setting clear expectations and helping them grow. That’s what turns the “many personalities” challenge you mentioned into real opportunity.
Thanks again for your comment — glad you found something meaningful in the post.
Learned a lot!
That’s awesome to hear! Thanks for reading 🙌
keep writing more please
I’ll! Thanks for motivation!
Thank you, awesome post.
Thanks a lot! I’m really glad you found it useful 😊
I also made the same mistake — trying to do everything by myself. But I learned that I can’t do everything alone; it’s important to delegate some tasks to others.
Yes! That was a big one for me too. Delegation took me a while to learn, but once I did — total game changer.
It actually reminded me of Essentialism by Greg McKeown — that idea of doing less, but better. When I stopped trying to do everything myself and focused on what really mattered, both my impact and my energy improved.
Nice
Thank you!
Love this! As someone who moved out of leadership into an IC role, I think a lot of this applies for me too and can help me be a better leader even as an IC.
Thank you, Chelsey!
I’ve learned so much from the way you lead, you’re truly an inspiring example of leadership!💜
Thank you so much for sharing your experience! Love the way you present the topic and express your thoughts, it's really insightful!
Thank you for reading and leaving feedback!
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