Let's have another fun challenge.
Explain what a programmer does, but only wrong answer accepted!
I will start:
Explain what a programmer does. Wrong answers only
Domenico Solazzo
Tech Lead. Software Engineer. Family man. Fitness lover. I want to build great products.
Opinions are my own.
Discussion (79)
We start fires so we can put them out
Sometimes we hand the fire off to someone else to put out.
Pro-Grahammers are the nickname for lobbyists who argue in favor of Lindsay Graham's agenda.
They're not generally a well-liked group.
That's not a wrong answer!
Programmers do things, not because they are easy, but because they thought they were going to be easy.
That's not a wrong answer 🤔😂
Well.. the answer is not wrong, but it's the wrong answer to give :-)
Oh, you got a point! 😭
Programmers will format your PC.
A programmer might not be as fast as an Instagrammer, but definitely heavier than a kilogrammer 🤓
This one takes the cake imo 😂
Hey! Can you fix my printer?
I came here to say this.
The programmers came to solve problems that would not exist if there were no computers!
A programmer is someone who is in a perpetual catatonic state, and can only sit for 8+ hours a day while sitting unnaturally close to a display and staring intently at it for the entire duration. Some programmers are in a nearly vegetative state, whereas others afflicted by a mild form of Tourette's syndrome may occasionally utter a discouraging word out loud. Most programmers are naturally shy and introverted, and can only stare at their shoes while trying to awkwardly engage with others in social discourse. Extroverted programmers have the audacity to stare at the person's shoes while trying to awkwardly engage with others in social discourse. Programmers tend to eat two-dimensional food that is slid under their door, and drink copious amounts of caffeinated beverages. Programmers caught in the wild will fret about not being able to stare at a display approximately 23 inches from their face, and often will take up photography so they can stare at a camera which is 23 inches from the photographed subject. The mating habits of programmers can only be described as an evolutionary dead-end. Before the invention of computers, programmers spent their time staring at other displays like chalkboards or whiteboards or blank pieces of paper. Ancient Greek programmers would stare at circles on the ground in complete obliviousness to their surroundings, while barbarian invaders would skewer them. Some programmers become fabulously wealthy, which allows them to buy even bigger displays to stare at.
Best thing I read today! U made my day, Sir.
They create the pamphlets that they hand out at plays and sporting events
A programmer is a PRO at Grammer: they correct everybody's English writing, grammar, and syntax. They are a branch of the police force (the Grammar Police), and because of that, they are all public servants and have to wear uniform to work.
an enee fuul no, spelling izunt part uv grammer
A programmer just sits typing all day. It can't be that hard!
We go to the coffee machine quite often which induces a high risk of having an accident in the office!
A programmer can hack Facebook.
Programmers write 100% testested regression free code.
Programmers learn how to break the computer so we can increase the time it takes to fix a simple bug. Therefore, forcing employers and clients to have to pay us more. In this way, we make simple things hard to increase our mystery and powers.
Programmers program.🙊
Sitting on my sofa overseeing my 2 year old clean the pen he just put on our living room chairs. Whilst laptop sits there waiting for me.
Programmers make lightweight web apps by using React for everything
A programmer will teach his mom how to upload a picture to her WhatsApp status
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Programmers REPAIR YOUR COMPUTER.
Programmers are able to predict client decisions
And it won't that that long when they change their minds, right?
A programmer creates websites using wix.com
There are so many listings on Hubstaff for this. 😂
A programmer is a person who doesn't understand MY feelings.
A programmer is a person who provides the contents to throw at the fan.
A programmer is a person who studies greatly all the things, but when put into work thinks their work doesn't reflect the "this is fine" meme, only everyone else's does.
Programmer is also a person who spends their lunch break at dev.to coming up with ideas what a programmer is and ends up with cold food.
I will just leave this here:
kubectl -n dapp-stack rollout restart deployment/gateway-sirius...
...
src
Rearrange electrical charges into more pleasing patterns.
"Only wrong answers accepted" is a mind boggling concept!
Our answer: "A programmer codes." (no they don't)
If everything works, obviously nothing.
The same applies if nothing works, obviously!
Hello Dev Community
Programmers make Tiktok videos on how to hack your girlfriend's Instagram Account 😂
And programmers like me ask you to like my comments if they made you laugh
SO please like it 😂
Programmers are 1337 h4xx0rs that can fix all your electronics, yet are so stupid they can’t write a full Facebook clone by Friday.
Enjoy life, eat healthy food, stand up every 20 minutes as the ergonomist recommended, ...
They're totally willing to get caught in that "wide net" you're casting (looking at you 20+ recruiters in 2020 alone) for a helpdesk position making 1/6th or less of what they make as devs.
Or even more excited to accept the role of Aflac representative you've decided their resumes make them perfect for!
Programmers read minds to know what their clients want.
Person who helps their parents to set up Zoom meeting
We will have your friend's facebook
Fix any IT related issue... Internet not working? Call a programmer!
A programmer is the electronic clock/timer for your cooker
Someone who solves a problem you did not know you had in a way you don't understand.
(or so one of my t-shirt says)
Writing bugs.
Programmer: someone who needs 5 years experience in a discipline that has only existed for 6 months.
hackers
Programmers can draw seven red lines, all strictly perpendicular, some using green ink and some using transparent ink.
Programmers use hammers instead of screwdrivers
Programmers are smart people who can fix people's computers
I wave my fist at the screen until the pixels do what I them to do.
Programmers are PC technicians at their spare time, and will more then happy to fix it for you
A programmer does not sit at the desk for more than 5 minutes at a stretch and definitely doesn’t need coffee at all, EVER. 😋
Programmers restart things and they start working 🤪
Programmers mainly use HTML to code because HTML is a programming language 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
We put tiny bugs in machines and then blame others
Programmer works with ones and zeros
Inatalling windows
Programmer knows how to connect your new printer to your computer.