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Cover image for Explain what a programmer does. Wrong answers only

Explain what a programmer does. Wrong answers only

domenicosolazzo profile image Domenico Solazzo ・1 min read

Let's have another fun challenge.

Explain what a programmer does, but only wrong answer accepted!

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I will start:

Programmers will fix your printer!

Discussion

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We start fires so we can put them out

 

Sometimes we hand the fire off to someone else to put out.

fire

 

Programmers do things, not because they are easy, but because they thought they were going to be easy.

 

That's not a wrong answer πŸ€”πŸ˜‚

 

Well.. the answer is not wrong, but it's the wrong answer to give :-)

 

Pro-Grahammers are the nickname for lobbyists who argue in favor of Lindsay Graham's agenda.

They're not generally a well-liked group.

graham

 

A programmer might not be as fast as an Instagrammer, but definitely heavier than a kilogrammer πŸ€“

 

This one takes the cake imo πŸ˜‚

 
 

The programmers came to solve problems that would not exist if there were no computers!
Crazy

 
 

A programmer is the person who gets called every time a router needs to be restarted somewhere in the world. His only job is to come into your house, unplug and plug your router back in and then leave.

 

Hey! Can you fix my printer?

 

They create the pamphlets that they hand out at plays and sporting events

 

A programmer is someone who is in a perpetual catatonic state, and can only sit for 8+ hours a day while sitting unnaturally close to a display and staring intently at it for the entire duration. Some programmers are in a nearly vegetative state, whereas others afflicted by a mild form of Tourette's syndrome may occasionally utter a discouraging word out loud. Most programmers are naturally shy and introverted, and can only stare at their shoes while trying to awkwardly engage with others in social discourse. Extroverted programmers have the audacity to stare at the person's shoes while trying to awkwardly engage with others in social discourse. Programmers tend to eat two-dimensional food that is slid under their door, and drink copious amounts of caffeinated beverages. Programmers caught in the wild will fret about not being able to stare at a display approximately 23 inches from their face, and often will take up photography so they can stare at a camera which is 23 inches from the photographed subject. The mating habits of programmers can only be described as an evolutionary dead-end. Before the invention of computers, programmers spent their time staring at other displays like chalkboards or whiteboards or blank pieces of paper. Ancient Greek programmers would stare at circles on the ground in complete obliviousness to their surroundings, while barbarian invaders would skewer them. Some programmers become fabulously wealthy, which allows them to buy even bigger displays to stare at.

 

Best thing I read today! U made my day, Sir.

 

A programmer can hack Facebook.

 

A programmer is a PRO at Grammer: they correct everybody's English writing, grammar, and syntax. They are a branch of the police force (the Grammar Police), and because of that, they are all public servants and have to wear uniform to work.

 

an enee fuul no, spelling izunt part uv grammer

 

Programmers learn how to break the computer so we can increase the time it takes to fix a simple bug. Therefore, forcing employers and clients to have to pay us more. In this way, we make simple things hard to increase our mystery and powers.

 

Programmers write 100% testested regression free code.

 

A programmer just sits typing all day. It can't be that hard!

 

We go to the coffee machine quite often which induces a high risk of having an accident in the office!

 

A programmer will teach his mom how to upload a picture to her WhatsApp status

 

🀣🀣🀣🀣

 

Programmers make lightweight web apps by using React for everything

 
 

Sitting on my sofa overseeing my 2 year old clean the pen he just put on our living room chairs. Whilst laptop sits there waiting for me.

 

Warmly embrace non-IT people into leading roles in the IT industry and feverishly look forward to advising nontechnical staff about the strategy and details so they can be retold their own words back as a directive of what to do and what needs done so that nontechnical people can he seen leading and justifying that facetime with their own paymaster.

 

Programmers REPAIR YOUR COMPUTER.

 

A programmer is a person who doesn't understand MY feelings.

A programmer is a person who provides the contents to throw at the fan.

A programmer is a person who studies greatly all the things, but when put into work thinks their work doesn't reflect the "this is fine" meme, only everyone else's does.

 

Programmer is also a person who spends their lunch break at dev.to coming up with ideas what a programmer is and ends up with cold food.

 

If everything works, obviously nothing.
The same applies if nothing works, obviously!

 

"Only wrong answers accepted" is a mind boggling concept!

Our answer: "A programmer codes." (no they don't)

 

Rearrange electrical charges into more pleasing patterns.

 

Enjoy life, eat healthy food, stand up every 20 minutes as the ergonomist recommended, ...

 

Programmers are able to predict client decisions

 

I will just leave this here:

kubectl -n dapp-stack rollout restart deployment/gateway-sirius

...
...

src

 

Hello Dev Community
Programmers make Tiktok videos on how to hack your girlfriend's Instagram Account πŸ˜‚

And programmers like me ask you to like my comments if they made you laugh
SO please like it πŸ˜‚

 

A programmer creates websites using wix.com

 

Fix any IT related issue... Internet not working? Call a programmer!

 

Programmers can draw seven red lines, all strictly perpendicular, some using green ink and some using transparent ink.

 

Someone who solves a problem you did not know you had in a way you don't understand.
(or so one of my t-shirt says)

 
 
 

Programmer: someone who needs 5 years experience in a discipline that has only existed for 6 months.

 

Programmers are worst in mathematics, statistics. They are useless. They didn't know the difference between runtime error and compile time error.

 

Programmers use hammers instead of screwdrivers

 

Programmers read minds to know what their clients want.

 

I wave my fist at the screen until the pixels do what I them to do.

 

Programmers are 1337 h4xx0rs that can fix all your electronics, yet are so stupid they can’t write a full Facebook clone by Friday.

 

We will have your friend's facebook

 

Person who helps their parents to set up Zoom meeting

 

A programmer is the electronic clock/timer for your cooker

 

Programmers are smart people who can fix people's computers

 

Programmers will fix your microwave!

 

A programmer will turn it off and on again. Every time.

 

A programmer does not sit at the desk for more than 5 minutes at a stretch and definitely doesn’t need coffee at all, EVER. πŸ˜‹

 

Programmers restart things and they start working πŸ€ͺ

 

Programmers mainly use HTML to code because HTML is a programming language πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

 

We put tiny bugs in machines and then blame others