“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn
It’s a powerful statement, and it hits at the core of one of life’s most overlooked truths: the people around us have a profound impact on our thoughts, actions, and ultimately, our future.
The Influence of Your Inner Circle
Think about it — your friends, your colleagues, your closest confidants. Do they inspire you? Do they push you to grow? Or do they hold you back, consciously or unconsciously, from reaching your potential?
It’s easy to dismiss the idea that the habits and attitudes of those closest to us can influence our own, but it’s a fact. If your friends are lazy, you’ll likely become lazy. If your circle procrastinates, you might find yourself caught in the same cycle. On the flip side, if you’re surrounded by people who hustle, who work hard, who value personal growth and improvement, that energy will rub off on you.
The law of social influence is powerful, and more often than not, the habits and behaviors of those around us become our own. If you’re with someone who wastes time, it’s tempting to join in. If you’re around someone who’s driven and productive, their work ethic will inspire you to push harder.
Awareness is the First Step
The first step in breaking free from negative influences is awareness. You need to pay attention to who you spend your time with and how they make you feel. Are they pushing you forward, or holding you back?
Awareness is the key to conquering laziness and procrastination. When you can clearly see how your circle is impacting you — both positively and negatively — you can make conscious choices about who you spend your time with.
It’s also crucial to learn the art of saying “no.” Saying no to people, situations, and habits that don’t serve your growth is a superpower in itself. It’s tough, but necessary.
The Power of a Positive Circle
Surrounding yourself with positive, driven, and growth-minded people is a game-changer. If you hang around people who work hard, who read, who are always striving to become better, you will inevitably become like them. You’ll pick up their habits, their mindset, and their energy. Positive people lift you up; they make you want to be better, and they won’t let you settle for mediocrity.
But here’s the catch: change is difficult. If you’ve been hanging out with people who don’t align with your ambitions, it’s hard to break those patterns. But it’s worth it.
The Value of Saying No
There’s a saying that goes: “Close the window that hurts you, no matter how beautiful the view is.” This resonates deeply because it reflects the truth that sometimes, we must walk away from toxic influences — even when those influences are familiar or comfortable.
You don’t need to maintain relationships out of obligation, especially if they aren’t helping you become a better version of yourself. That’s why it’s important to recognize when it’s time to change your circle.
And this isn’t just about your friends. It’s about the advice you take. Don’t take advice from people you don’t want to become.
Think about it: if someone is unhappy, unhealthy, or stuck in a toxic mindset, why would you take life advice from them? If they’re struggling in areas you want to improve, their guidance may be more harmful than helpful.
Take advice from people who are living the life you aspire to live. If you want to become healthier, take advice from people who prioritize their health. If you want to be happier, seek wisdom from those who radiate positivity and joy.
As Alex Hormozi wisely said, “If they don’t have what you want, don’t listen to what they say.” That’s the kind of advice you should be seeking — practical, actionable insights from people who’ve already walked the path you’re on.
Change Your Circle, Change Your Life
Ultimately, the choice is yours. The people you surround yourself with will have a massive impact on your life — they will shape your thoughts, your actions, and your destiny. If your current circle doesn’t align with the person you want to become, it’s time to reassess who you spend your time with.
If you want to change your thoughts, you must change your environment. You must change the people you hang around. Your circle should inspire you to grow, to do more, and to become better. If they don’t, it’s time to consider how you can shift your focus and find people who will elevate your thinking and your life.
In the end, the right people will improve your life. The wrong ones will make it harder to achieve the success and happiness you deserve.
Engineering Perspective: How Your Developer Circle Shapes Your Growth
As a software engineer, the people you surround yourself with can make or break your career. Your circle of developers influences not just your technical skills, but your approach to problem-solving, collaboration, and continuous learning.
When you spend time with engineers who are constantly refining their skills — whether it’s by learning new programming languages, staying up to date with the latest frameworks, or practicing clean code — your mindset shifts to one of improvement. You’ll naturally adopt better coding practices, explore new tools, and become more disciplined in your work.
On the other hand, if your circle consists of individuals who are content with mediocre coding practices, who don’t prioritize testing or documentation, or who avoid embracing new technologies, your own progress will be stunted. It’s easy to fall into the trap of writing quick-and-dirty code, sticking with outdated tools, or adopting lazy debugging practices. But the impact of being surrounded by top-tier engineers can’t be overstated. The best circles push you to go the extra mile, to refactor code when necessary, and to always look for ways to optimize your work.
In the fast-paced tech world, it’s essential to be proactive about curating your circle. Seek out mentors, peers, or communities that challenge you to think critically and innovate. Stay away from toxic environments that promote negative coding habits or stagnant mindsets.
In the end, as a software engineer, who you learn from and work with will shape not just your technical skills but your overall professional growth. If you want to be a top-tier engineer, surround yourself with those who inspire you to level up and constantly evolve.
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