Cover image of the Trans-Australia railway by Pavel Špindler
This article is for everyone who loves trans people and wants some guidance in treati...
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What an awesome beginning to a seriously great post. Really appreciate you sharing this advice, Nica!
Thank you for this Nočnica. Bookmarking as material I can offer to others as needed.
This is such a helpful list for everyone! I love how you have found 9 of the easiest things that we can all do, even if we're already feeling stressed, busy, or otherwise put-upon.
It's especially relevant to our community of devs, who are increasingly working with diverse, international colleagues. Some of us don't come from cultures where these conversations take place openly, so it's posts like these in spaces like DEV that allow us to engage and learn - and grow professionally as well as personally.
Thanks, Nica, for taking the time to share your experiences so we can all benefit and be better coworkers, collaborators, and friends.
Thanks for writing this, friend. I especially love your intro you wrote, totally stealing that and writing one for myself. :)
Hey Daniel, I thought I'd take a moment to share why I personally have my pronouns in my bio (clue: it's not actually about me at all). The word I like to use is "solidarity".
Using the word "brave" to describe trans people asking to have their appropriate pronouns applied to them says it all, really. Let's not assume that all trans people want to be "brave", nor that they should have to be to simply be given the respect of appropriate pronouns. When cis gender people stand alongside our trans friends/family/coworkers by specifying our own gender, whether or not it appears obvious, we "normalize" the act of specifying gender; if only trans people specify their gender in their bios, anyone who specifies their gender is immediately assumed to be trans.
I have the privilege of not having to care if someone misgenders me, but not everyone shares that privilege. It's a small thing I can do to make life that bit easier on and safer for other people, for whom life can be complex and unsafe in ways I'll never experience. If trans people are asking me to, as in Nočnica's post, why not take this small step to reduce prejudice in society?
Thank you for sharing this :)
Thank you for this 💜
I don't think OP is asking cis folks to include 'cis' in their bio. OP seems to be looking to normalize having 'she/her', 'he/him', 'they/them' in their bios so it's not an automatic outing. Similar to encouraging people in any type of relationship to use terminology such as 'significant other' to normalize it across the board.
Funny you should mention language confusion: this article's intro makes clear it's etiquette recommendations from a single trans person to cis people who are interested. How on earth is advice on politeness 'forcing' you to do anything?
I’ve become a fan of your direct, open, and comprehensive views on tech and now life. After reading this, I changed my Twitter profile for the first time in over a decade. Thanks for sharing.
I want to thank you specifically for:
When people have been receptive to advising, I've occasionally attempted to get clarity of the utility, multiple times, because this feels to me like a combination of trying to center myself in the conversation and "misappropriating" a tool that other people need for important reasons. Unfortunately, the existing advice is just passive-aggressive "do it, unless you don't want to."
So, thanks very much for being open about the actual use of my involvement to the people who are actually affected.
Thanks for this article. It surely is the healthy way of sharing knowledge.
While we do know our own suffering and all that offends us, others have their own issues and they do not know about ours...So, it is always beneficial for all to listen to each other and understand each other.
Understanding demands calmness and dialogue. Sadly, some people like to force their perspective on others, which is why we have so much trouble in the world today.
We need less emotion/principles and more reason/logic.
Thank you for writing this, is just so spot on and appreciated. Just added to my "go to" article list on the subject.
Super appreciate this! I was talking a cis friend through ways to be more inclusive towards trans people and I've shared this article with them.
And in that you'd be wrong! This post was in the top 7 posts this week and was featured in the dev.to newsletter. Remember that your guess or 'bet' isn't a substitute for data :)
This is wonderful Nočnica! Definitely bookmarking this.
awesome, thank you. it helped a lot!
I think that, being new, you don't really know the goals of the site :) See if there are some context clues about why this content is part of Dev.to's mission.
Sure — but you see that I’ve given you plenty examples (and these are only from the top of my head) that did start with the top-down approach. Sure, they were later accepted by the wider public but there was always a significant pushback. People in general feel a level of stress when it comes to changes that pertain to their identity and a change in how we speak is one of them. Of course there will be a pushback but history has shown that oftentimes, a normative approach to changes in language result in these changes being widely used and accepted, contrary to your strong stance (“has never”, “factually”). I’m focusing on this part because phrasing your argument this way may come across as downplaying the DEI efforts in different companies and countries, even though there’s plenty evidence that l language policies and legislations contribute to making culture more inclusive in the long run.
I’m a bit shocked by the level of your confidence in this sentence:
Think hate speech laws in Europe. Think language reforms in Lithuania or Poland that made some forms (foreign terms, feminatives) illegal under the threat of losing a job if you’re a teacher. Think about introduction of the gender-neutral pronoun “hen” in Sweden to the kindergarten books and education system. Think about Ex nihilo vocabulary coinage in Estonian, or similarly in Hebrew. Or, on the more gruesome note, there’s a vast body of the research that indicates that any genocide begins with changes in national discourse, oftentimes codified, or that many nationalistic forms of discrimination start with language policies (think colonization practices).
Yes, language politics has existed for centuries and has informed how people speak, think and relate to each other. And yes, there have been plenty success in the history in enforcing from the top how everyday people speak. Sometimes it takes a few years, sometimes a few decades.
This has educated me for the better. Thanks for the post.
Twitter profile adjusted.
Just adding my "Thank you - this helps."
Much of it is common-sense / common-courtesy but it helps to hear it directly and in the context of your experiences.
I read Dune a million years ago. Now I have to go and find the pug reference. Sheesh.
Thanks for the thoughtful exchange, @mrdanielschwarz
I loved this article. And loved the way you express your feelings.
Can I translate it to portuguese and republish?
I'll give you full credits and link back, of course.
I think that are so many people I know that should read this.
Sorry i missed this at the time. That would be lovely!
Truly can't tell you how much I appreciate you, friend. Thanks for sharing this ❤️
Thanks for the insight. Hopefully it won't be too long till society doesn't need these reminders.
Thank you
Very true!
Surprising that two of you would come to complain about this article being on dev.to, a community site you each joined quite recently and to which you have collectively contributed zero posts.
Hey Nica - I really loved this article - thanks for writing it!