Are you tired of writing clean, maintainable code?
Do you yearn for spaghetti code that's impossible to debug?
Well, you're in luck!
Today, we're going to explore the 12 best practices that will ABSOLUTELY destroy your codebase.
Let's dive right in and wreak some havoc!
1. Never Test Your Code
Testing is for cowards who are afraid of bugs.
Avoid writing tests for your code. Skip unit tests, integration tests, and end-to-end tests, making it difficult to catch and fix bugs.
Just push your code directly to production and let your users be your testers. They'll appreciate the surprise. 🎁
2. Overcomplicate Your Models
Who needs simple, straightforward models when you can create complex, convoluted ones?
Nest your models inside other models, and throw in a few circular references for good measure.
Also, create monolithic models with hundreds of methods and attributes.
This makes your models hard to maintain and understand.
And that's exactly what your team wants to deal with on a daily basis!
3. Mix Business Logic with Views
Embed complex business logic within your view templates, making it challenging to test and maintain.
After all, who doesn't love a good code puzzle, where the solution is hidden amidst layers of views, partials, and tangled logic?
4. Never Write Documentation
Documentation is for losers who want their code to be understandable.
Assume that everyone will understand your code intuitively.
Why waste time writing comments, READMEs, and API documentation? Let the code speak for itself, even if it's speaking gibberish.
5. Reinvent the Wheel
The framework has a ton of built-in features and libraries that can make your life easier.
IGNORE THEM!
Write your own authentication system, ORM, and routing framework. You'll definitely do it better. 💪
6. Monolithic Everything
Modularization is for the weak. Why break your application into small, manageable pieces when you can have one giant monolithic codebase?
The more dependencies, the better!
7. Nest Routes Excessively
Create deeply nested routes with many levels of resources.
This can lead to routing confusion and performance issues.
8. Don't Bother with Version Control
Git? Who needs it?
Just keep all your code on your local machine. It's not like you'll ever need to collaborate with others or roll back to a previous version.
9. Use Global Variables Everywhere
Why pass parameters when you can make everything a global variable?
It's a fantastic way to introduce hidden dependencies and make your code impossible to test.
10. Forget About Naming Conventions
Who needs conventions when you can name your variables and methods with a random assortment of characters?
Let's keep our fellow developers guessing and make sure no one understands our code.
11. Refactor Only When It's Too Late
If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right?
Wait until your codebase becomes an unmaintainable mess, and then attempt a massive refactor all at once. What could possibly go wrong?
12. Hardcode Everything
Constants, dynamic configurations, and environment variables are for amateurs.
Hardcode all your configuration settings and magic numbers directly in your code. Changing them will be a breeze!
Conclusion
So there you have it, 12 best practices guaranteed to turn your codebase into an unrecognizable disaster!
Of course, this blog post is intended purely for humorous purposes, and we hope you'll do the opposite of these suggestions in your actual development work.
Building maintainable, clean code is the way to go, so make sure to follow best practices and keep your codebase healthy and happy. Happy coding!
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Top comments (3)
Lol 😆
How To Write Unmaintainable Code, by Roedy Green, of Canadian Mind Products
A classic.
Clickbait listicle junk
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