Vampires today

terceranexus6 profile image Paula ・2 min read

How would a vampire live today?

After working in some illustrations of vampires, an idea came to me. Thanks to technology, how would a vampire live today?

Vampires have several issues, such as not being able to go out in daylight or not being able to watch themselves in mirrors. But thank to technology, their horrorous life could be easier.

  • Mirrors have always been a problem to vampires, not anymore. Thanks to a touchscreen,a webcam and an raspberry pi, any vampire would be able to see himself/herself. The easy way would be to connect simply the camera to the front in order to show what’s in front of it. Always ready, vampire!

  • Vampires can’t bare sunlight, some developers share this too. But if you are a vampire developer, is even worse. What can you do? You can ask for food and supplies online, earn a degree online and basically work online. Now there’s no way you can escape from your responsibilities if you are a vampire.

  • Vampires are immortal, this is a horrible thing regarding to documents and bureaucracy. But fear no more, because internet gives you a gold chance to be anonymous online. You can create a privacy wall surrounding your-digital-self and use digital currency, such as bitcoins.

  • Need blood? this is tedious, going to chase humans and stuff. No problem because there are already blood substitute, synthetic options. You can go all vegan-vampy.

  • Sorry about the garlic, tho.

  • Afraid of vampire hunters chasing you in your room? You can build an arduino detector in your room, based on moving sensors, that blocks your coffin. You can even install a screen inside the coffin to unlock it in case of emergency.

Well this is pretty much it. Get to work, vampire, never is late to join tech!


Editor guide
lexlohr profile image
Alex Lohr

We don't know what causes the effect of not reflecting in mirrors, but one could assume that vampires are actually invisible and merely use their mind control in order to appear visible. The mind control doesn't work on optics, though.

The same goes for synthetic blood replacement - it might miss the very components that are the primary nutrients for vampires; like those vegans who are not conscious of their protein sources, they might suffer malnutrition.

I'm not sorry at all about garlic.

Vampire hunters would be online these days, too. Spotting vampires shouldn't be not to hard; the main difficulty might be to distinguish them from normal developers.

rjpsyco009 profile image
Ryan Norton

That garlic bit made me laugh really hard.
Very amusing post! Clever!

andy profile image
Andy Zhao (he/him)

Good ole technology, saving the day for vamps!

ben profile image
Ben Halpern

Haha this is amazing