A Love Letter to the Underrepresented in Tech

Dear "Underrepresented,"

In my dreams, you are fully represented - unabashedly you. Never need to watch what you say or how you say it. Never asked to be less or more. Never told what you can and can't. Never told what you want and don't want.

I see the way you wake up every morning and draw on that inner well of strength. I see the exhausted evenings and the all too brief celebrations. The obstacles lay out before you like stairs, each step eagerly awaiting your stiletto-heel stab, combat boot kick, or firm sneaker tread. I want to build you more landings in between your steps - more breaks from your heavy load, more helping hands to hold some of it for you.

For I too have felt the wind pick up, ready to start buffeting me back down the staircase. You help me build a bulwark in the storm. Around you, I can stop, rest, and gather my strength. I don't need to explain why I couldn't let that one little event pass, unnoticed. That teeny tiny event that was just the last grain of sand before the whole dune came barreling towards us in some sort of quicksand landslide. You understand the comments, glances, glares, oversights, and invasions that happen in a place like tech. In a place like... anywhere.

You deserve champagne days. Call your best friend and plan a trip days. Looking back and can't help but be proud days. Letting the rubber balls drop and tossing the glass balls back up days. You deserve friends and (chosen) family who hold you up on bad days. Who climb up the staircase with you. Who get out of the way when you're ready to spread your wings. May you know when you're ready. Not perfect. Never perfect, but scared and ready, prepped and prepared... and before you know it, soaring on your newly unfurled wings like you never doubted you were ready.

I hope you are told frequently how you impact others' lives. Not because I think you need to adjust or learn a lesson. Rather, I want you to hear, see, and feel how much light you bring to those around you. I need you to know how many inner wells of strength you pour a little water back into on a daily basis. Every day that you bring what is unique about you to the table is another day the table is improved. You deserve to see the beautiful blossoms that grow in the ground you've so painfully worked. All the blood, sweat, and tears that have poured out of you over the years have left that ground softer for those who follow you.

Don't doubt they'll follow. Somewhere someone has been remembering that one thing you said. About how they could. About how they'll shine. About how you'd be there if they trip on one of those steps in that long flight of stairs before them. The never-ending stairs and stares, blank or otherwise. The never-ending "well they just" and "he didn't understand" and how they never "mean anything by it."

May all the laughs be yours going forward, because no one has to say "it was just a joke" - everyone around you has learned good jokes punch up, not down. And those people around you should be showering you with awards and raises and praise. So much praise that your brag doc stretches forever and your resume can't possibly fit on one page. So much praise that you remember why you're doing this on your darkest days. So much praise that it drowns out the tech boys' silly noise. So much praise that no one can doubt you - not even you.

And when we're together, I hope the whisper network never has to point out the missing stair. I want all the stairs in each of our staircases to be technical, not human. I dare to dream our stairs will correlate to the ladders we want to climb - ladders that were built to take us straight to the top. Because I can't wait to share the view with all y'all.

Love always,

Abbey

Comments

[Jess Lee]

💜

[Christine Belzie]

Thank you for writing this letter @abbeyperini .

Somewhere someone has been remembering that one thing you said. About how they could. About how they'll shine.

This is exactly why I’m big on amplifying women’s voices in tech. To show a young fem-person that they have a place in this field, something , I wished I had when I was younger.

[Abbey Perini]

Thanks for reading! Glad that part spoke to you. 💙

[Rachel Fazio]

I'm not crying you're crying!

[Abbey Perini]

Watch the video version on YouTube or TikTok.

[Eevis]

I really needed this today. Thank you for writing this letter 💖

[Abbey Perini]

Glad it spoke to you. Thanks for reading it. 💙

[Ndeye Fatou Diop]

Thanks for this letter !! ❤️

[Abbey Perini]

Thanks for reading! 💙

[Lymah]

I needed this! Thanks for sharing.