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Sloan the DEV Moderator

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How do I handle brutal feedback from colleague?

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My colleague leaves brutal and rude feedback when reviewing my code. Just, imho, intense and unnecessary, and definitely unprofessional. This feedback is given on a fairly recurring basis, and I don't think I can stand much more of it. How do I bring this up to them in a way that’s effective and professional, and how can I get this behavior to stop?

Oldest comments (41)

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willypuzzle profile image
Domenico Rizzo

You should ask yourself if ,even though he's brutal, he's right too. In my side, I'm never brutal but I have learnt a lot from brutal people.

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codenameone profile image
Shai Almog

I'm sorry you went through that. This is obviously unhelpful if it's repeated and insensitive. Usually bullying comes from a lack of confidence or real experience. One of the tricks is to find a bigger bully or bigger mentor.

Finding someone who will evaluate the things he says and communicate them in a constructive way. Then help you tare down the bully. E.g. by reviewing the bullies code and finding problems/bugs. Giving you "ammunition" to respond.

Notice that this is a very unhealthy work environment. Ideally you should start job hunting and find a place that's good for you. A mentor can help you with that as well.

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gosuteacher profile image
GosuTeacher

Well, I think that's a pretty bad attitude, to take revenge and I think that this would escalate the situation. Maybe it would be better to confront the person and if he starts being rude escalate to your manager.
Another tip is that your work is not you. You should not take code reviews personally. It's about the code, your practices and knowledge will develop over time.
Good luck.

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codenameone profile image
Shai Almog

I agree. It's VERY unhealthy and might leave you dissatisfied as well...

But sometimes bullies need to be torn down. Otherwise they keep coming after you and after everyone else, so it's not just about you.

It's the last resort.

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miketalbot profile image
Mike Talbot ⭐

Like many forms of written communication, code review comments can both be interpreted as aggressive or can actually be aggressive due to the reduction in filter that people experience when sitting behind a screen.

I can think of several things you could consider trying:

  • Ask your colleague to go online and review your code with them, tell them you see that they are concerned about your work and that you want to understand their conclusions and how they get to them. Talking personally with people will often provide a deeper understanding on both sides and will hopefully reduce the tension and aggression levels considerably, quite possibly permanently.

  • Ask your line manager or team leader to provide further guidance on how reviews should be constructed as yours are causing you undue anxiety and stress which will eventually impact your productivity. Try to get the manager to review the process with the team. If your organisation has defined "values" - try to relate one or two of these to the issue you are facing.

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maddy profile image
Maddy • Edited

Really?

I'm sorry you're going through this, some developers have low empathy.

You can give honest feedback without being rude. You "just" need to know how to communicate.

Have you tried addressing the problem with your engineering manager? Maybe explain to him how it makes you feel?

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blindfish3 profile image
Ben Calder

I think it depends what is meant by "brutal". Some people are simply too busy to beat around the bush and will leave very direct feedback that can come across as "brutal", when that really isn't the intent.

In this case I would try and get into conversation with them about some appropriate feedback they've given and discuss ways to address it. If you're able to have a friendly discussion then it's likely that there's no ill intent. That might give you an opportunity to give them feedback on their approach to code review..

If on the other hand the feedback you receive is blatantly rude and unprofessional I would tell them directly that you think this is so, and inform your team lead that you have had this conversation. If you see no sign of improvement then go back to your team lead... Code review is supposed to be an opportunity to learn and share knowledge; not to vent your frustration on others.

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jarvisscript profile image
Chris Jarvis

Introduce them or the company to the Hamburger Method of putting criticism between constructive compliments.
see this quote and blog for more.

I once suggested the hamburger method to a client who quickly dismissed the technique as “candy coating.” Maybe it is, but if it gets a better result, isn’t that the whole point? Medicine manufactures candy coat medicine all the time for two reasons:1) So people will take it, and2) because it tastes like crap if they don’t.If given the choice between cherry or crap flavored medicine, which would you chose?

blogs.helsinki.fi/pirttila/files/2...

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matthewbdaly profile image
Matthew Daly

I've had that approach advocated in the past, but not by that name. The name I've always heard for it is the "shit sandwich".

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kevinpeckham profile image
Kevin Peckham

Try to learn from anything they said that might be useful, then ignore and forget the rest.

If they crossed a line in professionalism then you have every right to file a complaint with HR. And should — it will help you and your team and your company… although waiting for HR to effect change may take longer than is helpful.

You will not be able to change this person, so do your best to avoid them. Also start keeping a file of screenshots and / or abusive comments. It may make you a feel a little better to have the behavior documented, and it will help prevent you being gaslighted if this ever comes back around and they try to undermine your claims. But, don’t share that list with anyone but HR, your manager, or your therapist, as that could put you in violation of work policies.

Finally, your best bet may be to talk to your manager. It is their job to lookout for you and your responsibility to let them know when you need help. This is a situation that a good manager can solve. And if if your manager fails you on this then it’s time to find another job at a company that does a better job of advocating for you.

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polterguy profile image
Thomas Hansen

Quit! It's a poisonous environment! Get out of there ASAP!!

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adam_cyclones profile image
Adam Crockett 🌀

Code reviews have no tone of voice which is what we need to keep telling ourselves. But if the comments are full of ideology you have to question the intent to belittle others with quotes that react is better because it's blue and you MUST use it because I like blue.

Or perhaps its...

See the problem with this question is that it's hard to know the specifics, the truth is you have 3 options, quit, threaten to quit, tell HR, tell manager, talk directly to X and tell them how Thier comments are making you feel it might help, better that being in hell

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cerchie profile image
Lucia Cerchie • Edited

There is a certain way to introduce tone to your comments... I like using these when I can, they're called conventional comments, in the style of conventional commits conventionalcomments.org/

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adam_cyclones profile image
Adam Crockett 🌀 • Edited

Okay for the world of code reviews, I love this idea but I think who are challenged with... Not having a heart they might skip this memo, none the less I will keep this in mind

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pandademic profile image
Pandademic

Thanks for the link , it's really helpful!

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abhitoanyone profile image
abhitoanyone

I think, reviews and comments are good only when they sound good. They are not meant to insult someone's code or logic in any way.

If there is a suggestions, the review should do so without raising a finger on you.

If it requires change, then they should just mention it.

Giving offensive review is basically not a review. You talk politely to somone more senior than him and make him understand how you feel or what you think about the reviews if possible.

Searching for a new job is also a good choice.