How many software developers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

That’s the setup. What’s the punchline?

Comments

[Jack Harner 🚀]

1 developer and a 3.4 Gb node_modules folder.

[Paul]

I feel personally attacked

[Jaken Herman]

This hurts 😔

[Der Sascha]

Why? Do you nedd only 2.1GB?

[Adam Crockett 🌀]

It's not the size it's how you use I.T that counts.

[rhymes]

ahhahha genius 🥳🤣

[Anthony Bouvier]

None. That's a hardware problem. ((Old punchline to this joke. Haha.))

[Anthony Bouvier]

I also like:

None. The light bulb works fine on the system in my office.

[Jaken Herman]

both of these are hilarious

[Gopi Ravi]

Mad chuckle

[Forest Hoffman]

Oldie, but a goodie

[Casey Brooks]

We can't know how many resources we need until we:

1. Write a User Story and add it to the backlog
2. Resolve dependencies amongst other teams who are providing us with the lightbulb and the socket
3. Estimate the Story using the Fibonacci point system
4. Determine capacity for our team members in the upcoming sprint
5. Pull the story into next sprint and assign specific tasks

[Jonathan Irvin]

1. Get a developer to go get the lightbulb
2. It's blue, the customer wanted white.
3. Take the blue light back to get white.
4. The white light now is too white, customer wants soft white.
5. Developer screws in the light bulb.
6. QA tests the light bulb, it doesn't turn on. QA unscrews the lightbulb, places it in a bag, hands it back to the developer and says it's "defective".
7. Developer tests the lightbulb in their own office and it works. After all, it was a new lightbulb and it worked in their office before.
8. Developer screws in lightbulb again, it doesn't turn on.
9. Developer realizes that a previous developer turned off the light switch and cut all of the wires.
10. Developer quietly weeps in the corner, questioning their life decisions. ...
11. A new developer walks in and duck-tapes a new socket, wires it up with paperclips and rigs a switch. Light is dimly lit, held together by duck tape and faith, but now no one has anymore bandwidth to fix the original light and everyone moves on.

The End.

[Vuild]

1. New people buy the bulb for pennies on the dollar.
2. It gets new team, branding, artwork, photos & interns. Own IG.
3. Go to trade shows & meetings, events with Bulb 2.0.
4. Massive growth, rounds, ICO, top 10 on Coinmarketcap. Internet of Bulbs.
5. 1.0 devs are now working at "Flaming Scooters" really hard to pay basic extortionate-bills & look up from emoji Touch Bar realizing they missed the 1000x but maybe 20% is left.
6. They invest all savings from Bulb 1.0 into Bulbcoin hodl only to see it fall, knife, deadcat bounce & get delisted. 2.0 team had already cashed out & were working on Doorcoin at the time which saw an unexpected climb as Bulbcoin could be an interesting asset for diversification of their oversized fund.

[Harrison Witt]

Tl;dr

[Vuild]

Me neither. Hope it's ok. 🤣

[Harrison Witt]

I was making a joke about the joke. Lol so jokes on you, I suppose.

[Vuild]

That tends to happen from time to time. 😅 It's hard making a buck as a dev standup these days. I was attempting, poorly.

Your name proves you have the upper hand this time, Mr Witt.

[David J Eddy]

This is painfully true.

[Oliver Weiler]

That sounds more like: How many product owners...

[Andrew (he/him)]

npm install punchline

[Alvaro Montoro]

You could have done npm install -g punchline and make the whole world laugh at once

[Vuild]

You could have done it in CSS Alvaro while eating Italian tapas.

[Alvaro Montoro]

Wait, what?

[Vuild]

Was referencing/joking about the paella food tweet & your daily CSS experiments in one. Supposed to be abstract humor but it was a terrible attempt. Sorry. 😳

[Adam Crockett 🌀]

I can guarantee that's a thing without looking it up.

[Adam Crockett 🌀]

I couldn't help it, I looked it up, it's not a thing. I will give it 5 mins and I'm sure somebody will have take it.

[Al Romano]

This needs to be a thing. CLI of random "dad jokes" maybe??

EDIT: Made it a thing - npmjs.com/package/@vip3rousmango/p...

[Jeremy Schuurmans]

It's not a CLI, but this has dad jokes galore!

[Adam Crockett 🌀]

Punchline is a dad joke AI trained from said cli?
Features:

• can rate your joke
• makes jokes from titles of projects in npm
• comes with a webpack loader
• integrates with all major Frontend frameworks
• Has literally 100's of critical issues, but it's on the backlog 😅

I think we have a product here?

[Adam Crockett 🌀]

Dear god, Jeremy. I'm ... speachless.

[David J Eddy]

npmjs.com/package/punchline

punchline
0.1.1 • Public • Published 4 years ago

It's a thing.

[Adam Crockett 🌀]

Curse my inability to use a keyboard. I wonder what it does.

[David J Eddy]

Not surprisingly; punchline is an actual package: npmjs.com/package/punchline

[Tom VanAntwerp]

What dev has time to screw in their own lightbulbs? Just use AWS CloudBulb--abstracts away all the details and they've got a free tier!

[Casey Brooks]

Too bad their pricing model is nearly impossible to comprehend. You can't just buy the lightbulb, you have to individually purchase the glass and choose its shape, thickness, opacity. Then you need to pick your filament (from among 17 different shape variations, each in a number of different lengths), decide what kind of screw cap you need (I didn't even know there was more than one option!), and estimate the cost-per-minute given the expected wattage load and service up-time.

But once you've got all that figured out, you'll never need to worry about lightbulbs again! At least until the requirements change...

[Vuild]

It's changed since you posted this.

Bulbs, sockets & houses are now a sealed single unit & not user serviceable. To change your bulb please upgrade to our latest house range.

We have houses in succulent pink, lavish lavender, boundless blue & chartreuse. Two sizes.

3 months of free smart door (then $9.99.99 pm). bOS compatible only.

Windows not included.

[Quozzo]

If you do opt for the optional Windows you will also receive a load of bloatware and occasionally and unexpectedly the house will somehow crash.

[David J Eddy]

~stab~ right at the hear there Tom. :D

[Vuild]

[Vuild]

Don't you dare make this my next most popular comment.

Sometimes I actually post info. 😳

[Jorge Luis]

One to actually screw the lightbulb and 30 to say that they could've done it better.

[Max Ong Zong Bao]

Hahaha reminds me of this from Toggle that talks about it.

[Stephen Chiang]

Throwing more devs at it won't solve it faster.

[Ben Lovy]

Ah, the mythical man-bulb

[Ste Griffiths]

I'm here for this

[Ryan Smith]

closed as off-topic on May 30 '19 at 4:20
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locked on May 30 '19 at 4:20
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[Vuild]

👀🤣