It is Friday again, and as you may know, I aim to make Fridays a bit more fun here.
So today, imagine if the programming languages we use every day turned up to work in an office, yes, like The office, in person, with their own computer and desk.
Let’s explore the amusing office personalities of our favorite programming languages.
JavaScript: The Enthusiastic Project Manager
Loves coffee and chaos, always buzzing with energy, loves starting new projects, and has a solution for every problem—whether it fits or not.
- Quote: "Why do today what you can refactor tomorrow?"
Python: The Reliable Analyst
Calm, collected, and methodical. Python believes in getting things right the first time and loves clear, efficient processes. Yet somehow, despite their differences, is quite good friends with JavaScript.
- Quote: "Let’s keep this simple and readable, shall we?"
Java: The Corporate Veteran
Highly experienced, a bit rigid, but extremely reliable. Java has seen it all and insists on thorough, time-tested protocols. Not everyone likes them, but they get the job done.
- Quote: "Back in my day, we managed our own memory!"
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C++: The Senior Engineer
Incredibly smart and somewhat intimidating. C++ is the go-to person for complex problems but can be a bit hard to approach.
- Quote: "I’ve got a library for that."
Disclaimer: AI wrote this one for me, I never wrote C++ code LOL
Ruby: The Creative Marketer
Fun, creative, and loves making things beautiful and user-friendly. Ruby is all about delivering a delightful experience. Is friends with almost everyone in the office
- Quote: "Why shouldn’t code be beautiful?"
PHP: The Legacy System Specialist
Often underestimated, PHP is the backbone of many operations. Works hard behind the scenes to keep everything running smoothly. People keep saying they will get fired for years, but PHP still keeps doing a great job and maintaining their position.
- Quote: "I might not be flashy, but I get the job done."
Swift: The Trendy Startup Founder
Young, trendy, and fast-moving. Swift is all about creating sleek, high-performance applications quickly.
- Quote: "Let’s disrupt the mobile app market."
Which programming language are you?
Which programming language personality do you resonate with the most?
Let us know in the comments! I definitely have some strong JavaScript vibes haha
Let's connect!
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Thanks for reading,
Pachi 💚
Top comments (25)
I take issue with the JavaScript quote.
In order to refactor you ideally need unit tests to alert you to any faults you create in the process.
Most JS devs are either unaware of what unit test are, what they are for or are of the opinion "We don't need unit tests, we have a load of end-to-end tests.", "Besides, what's to test? we maintain code directly in production."
I agree, all the quotes seem to describe the languages' personality, but JavaScript, I'd say the quote is a developer's, not the language; and quite frankly a language-independent mindset 😄. People who practice XP, like me, follow the principles irrespective of the platform we work in including JavaScript.
That doesn't mean you cannot talk about "refactoring tomorrow" all day long though...
C is the server gremlin. No one sees them, and no one really wants to work with them, but they all desperately need them to do anything. Further, no one really knows how long they've been there, nor does anyone dare to get rid of them.
Rust is C's intern that everyone insists that C hire. Rust is actually really good at what they do, but every time they try to do something, they learn that C already did it decades ago.
Fortran is the retired founder from decades prior, who still occasionally shows up to office parties despite no one remembering them.
COBOL is similar to Fortran, but everyone is afraid of because they still have enough shares to be on the Board of Directors.
FORTRAN and COBOL have no similarity, take a look to some samples of code, please.
These languages are simply nearly equally old.
Take care when you travel in planes, reservation systems still run on FORTRAN :)))
I mean similar in the analogy, not similar in syntax.
Also, I've written Fortran. Personally, I don't understand why anyone would willingly submit themselves to the language anymore, but legacy systems are legacy systems.
And yes, I understand that there are plenty of fields that use Fortran extensively (e.g., computational physics).
Again though, if I have the option, I'd rather be using C.
To the point
Completely agree, as such for my own projects I do not use TS but companies sadly, but understandably, require it.
Not following... TS is just JS with rules/discipline. It literally transpiles to minified ES5. What exactly is the concern here?
Well TS is a subset of JS. The additional compilation step. The dev environment bloatware. Adding a lot of code just for types. Etc...
Because of that it is my preference to use JS over TS. I built my own framework to work effectively with JS and never been more productive.
Some people and companies prefer TS and if they are productive with TS they should stick with TS. Because in the end it is only important that you deliver a product that works and preferably on time.
The best description for PHP. Love it.
Javascript 🤠
I would like to see C# and GO
Spaghetti is because of a bad developer. Language has nothing to do with it. I have programmed with C/C++, Java, .Net and various other languages for over 20 years. Now only in JavaScript. Frontend, Backend and even Cloud.
Would like to see C#. The personification would be somewhere between java,ruby and C++. C# constantly tries to reinvent itself, constantly modernizing the language to keep up with the times. It has a lot of structure but can be extremely simple/intuitive to use.
Let's not forget the primary difference between TS and JSDoc. If you make a mistake describing your class in JSDoc your project still compiles. You also don't have to spend hours configuring a compiler for it!
Thanks AI for writing this post and creating the images