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Cover image for It's You.

It's You.

Overcoming self-doubt and career regrets

To start off, I appreciate the community support I have received on the post about being behind.

I couldn't respond to every single one because of the overwhelming comments I have received! Rest assure, I will respond to each and every one of you and I am grateful for every single comment you guys had left! I am glad to be part of this community! Continue to show that!

 


 

With that said, I want to return the favor to the community about something important.

I recently talked to @georgekobaidze and @codingwithjiro in the Virtual Coffee group about life in general. What I notice about our conversation is how we ended up talking about regrets and things we could have done earlier. For example, we talked about not networking or not doing beyond the coursework at our University/College because of how non-social we are.

Of course, we all have regrets like these and we improve overtime as a result. As we kept the conversation going, there is something that comes down to the root based on the conversations we have and conversations I had overall as a developer.

One side is that we have regrets about what we should have done. As a result, we improve. We make self-reflections on our wants and needs and we improvise from there. For example, for me, I never did networking because of the fear of what other people thinks. I slowly realized that 99% of the irrational thoughts never comes true. Even if it does, I know myself that I could handle the situation.

As a result, I took small steps and joined dev.to. We all know where I am at now XD

On the other hand, there are people who identifies these regrets they have, but does not act on it. Not immediately, just never. It has become VERY common amongst college students who says that the "Job Market is Cooked" and that "They are not good enough". To be fair, impostor syndrome is real and yes, the job market is cooked based on the rise of AI and the bar you have to meet to compete with other developers.

However, that does not mean you will just sit there and do nothing about it. I have seen countless people who makes those negative statements and they are not doing anything about it. They are just accepting defeat and doing the bare minimum.

Of course, there are people who are trying their best by building projects, networking, etc. However, it is also common that they will lead to the same result when it comes to job offers, which is getting none. This leads to people thinking it is ENTIRELY on luck. Sure, luck is a factor but identifying the things you need to do properly and being with a supportive community the right way can negate those odds.

@georgekobaidze pointed out in his post where he mentions that to achieve what he has done, he had to continue "pushing...to the limit, [even] at times...through severe physical pain (no exaggeration), and sacrificing a lot of my personal life along the way. My evenings, nights, and weekends were dedicated to all of this...It's not a lot of time in the grand scheme of things, but I'd rather use that limited time than not do it at all."

 


 

What's my Point

I want you to think of this quote from the movie Ip Man that stayed with me:

 

It's not about style. It's about you.

What does this mean? Every developer has different goals and niche.

  • Maybe you are a Data Analysis.
  • Maybe you are a ML Engineer.
  • Maybe you want to get ahead of AI by learning the latest AI news.
  • Maybe you want to fill up your GitHub Contributor graph like a Christmas tree.

Everyone has a "style" because everyone has different goals and roadmaps. However, at the end of the day, it's about you.

Think about it. Not all Software Engineers are built the same. We all have our origin stories that are unique, challenges we have to overcome ourselves, etc. That what makes us every developer unique and recruiters, especially people in general wants to hear that.

The problem becomes where we blame ourselves and we blame the things around us that affects our journey as a developer. For example, because of the rise of AI and news around it, people have become demotivated on pursuing a developer career because of the challenges it has set for everyone in the tech space. I feel like we are losing GREAT, maybe even God-Tier developers because of a small hurdle they can't overcome nor they have the support to overcome challenges to begin with.

 

Riddle me this: If the job market is so difficult because of AI, why is there still some people who are recent CS graduates or new developers...still get tech jobs either way? It's not that it is impossible to get one, it's just harder. It's also not because they got "lucky", it's simply because they know how to play the game.

 

There is a game I am recently playing called "Cuphead" (Great game btw). One of the main idea of it is that it was design to be a difficult game to play. Of course, there will be some people who doesn't find it difficult, but the point is that the game is design to be completed. The choice on whether you decide to keep going and making it to the finish line is based on you. It's always been you, not the game (never has been).

Maybe instead of blaming the market, we should adapt to it. Start learning what companies are NOW looking for in the age of AI, start doing some networking and participate in challenges on DEV for example to get more experience on building.

Maybe instead of thinking that I will not be good enough, seek advice from the community and share your struggles. Don't believe me? I am living proof!!!

Maybe you are scared of networking. Maybe you are too "tired" to keep going because of how the news are persuading you that the developer market is banished to the shadow realm. At the end of the day, you are letting outside sources control your decisions instead of having some independence and doing what you need to do. Things takes time and it's not meant you will get what you want overnight. Remember, it's you that decides on if you want to achieve what you have set, not anyone else.

Discipline and consistency is key, and always has been. It's only a matter of if you are able to commit whether the environment around you changes. The whole point of this post is to show you that you need to take initiative without having to rely on other factors to do the work for you.

Keep this in mind, there are two types of people. One who makes heavy self-reflection and are open to change and improve. The other who is forced to change based on circumstance.

 

 

If you don't do it now...when will you?

 

 

Now I think about it:

"ᴀ ꜱᴍᴏᴏᴛʜ ꜱᴇᴀ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴀ ꜱᴋɪʟʟᴇᴅ ꜱᴀɪʟᴏʀ" - ꜰʀᴀɴᴋʟɪɴ ᴅ. ʀᴏᴏꜱᴇᴠᴇʟᴛ

Top comments (71)

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khalidelokiely profile image
Khalid Elokiely

Genuinely, this appeared right on time. Yes the game is hard, but it’s not impossible. I come from a background of playing competitive real time MMOs (AION specifically) and boy the bar is high when you have shitty ping. BUT you adapt, you time yourself and you still become one of the best players on the server.

And when, eventually, your ping improves it just becomes a Rock-Lee moment!

I’m one month into a 6 month lock in inspired by @georgekobaidze - and this post was right on time.

Thank you!

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georgekobaidze profile image
Giorgi Kobaidze

Oh, thank you so much! And you're spot on, waiting for the perfect timing and conditions isn't productive at all, it's just an excuse. Staying comfortable in uncomfortable situations is the best skill anyone can have.

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francistrdev profile image
FrancisTRᴅᴇᴠ (っ◔◡◔)っ

Hey Khalid! Glad you found this helpful and yea, ping is ALWAYS an issue. It gets worse if your WIFI just randomly goes out in the middle of the match.

But like you said "eventually, your ping improves it just becomes a Rock-Lee moment!". You just become unstoppable lmao.

Thanks for stopping by and glad the article from @georgekobaidze was inspiration. I hope you will do well :D

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georgekobaidze profile image
Giorgi Kobaidze

You just summed up our conversation just brilliantly with this post. I think everyone who’s doubting themselves should read this. I wish I had read this when I was starting out my career.

Great work! 👏

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francistrdev profile image
FrancisTRᴅᴇᴠ (っ◔◡◔)っ

Thanks Giorgi and appreciate having a conversation with you and @codingwithjiro on this! It's something worth noting. Glad it was a great summary since I was quite worried on missing pieces, but that's up for discussion nevertheless :)

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georgekobaidze profile image
Giorgi Kobaidze

That was a podcast-worthy conversation by the way. 😄

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francistrdev profile image
FrancisTRᴅᴇᴠ (っ◔◡◔)っ

Good to know it was peek. Imagine listening to it:

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codingwithjiro profile image
Elmar Chavez

@georgekobaidze @francistrdev , I think VC did podcasts in the past. If it gets revived maybe we could join. Good opportunity for both VC exposure and boosting communication skills!

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francistrdev profile image
FrancisTRᴅᴇᴠ (っ◔◡◔)っ

Oh naa I get stage freights with no stage.

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xulingfeng profile image
xulingfeng

My fate is mine to decide, not heaven's.

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francistrdev profile image
FrancisTRᴅᴇᴠ (っ◔◡◔)っ

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xulingfeng profile image
xulingfeng

This screenshot is your article in one image. A game about catching monsters, and the character says 'change without force' — method vs vision. 'It's You' indeed. Also, fellow otaku confirmed 🤣

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mythorian_b77f3ebd0bce9c7 profile image
Mythorian

"I recently talked to @georgekobaidze and @codingwithjiro in the Virtual Coffee group about life in general"

okay, wait what? what is a virtual coffee group? how did that happen? when did dev.to have such an option?😭

btw this article was awesome in every sense of the word. absolutely LOVE your use of these pics. made the thing whole lot more readable.

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codingwithjiro profile image
Elmar Chavez

It's an awesome group of people in tech (I believe it's outside of dev.to). You can learn more here and possibly join us too!

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mythorian_b77f3ebd0bce9c7 profile image
Mythorian

this is INTERESTING!!! ill absolutely try to join. thanks mate.

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codingwithjiro profile image
Elmar Chavez

Excited to see you in meetings!

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francistrdev profile image
FrancisTRᴅᴇᴠ (っ◔◡◔)っ

You beat me to it. I thought u busy D:

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codingwithjiro profile image
Elmar Chavez

I just finished my English recording and was just working on my web portfolio hahaha

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francistrdev profile image
FrancisTRᴅᴇᴠ (っ◔◡◔)っ

oh lol ok

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francistrdev profile image
FrancisTRᴅᴇᴠ (っ◔◡◔)っ • Edited

Hey Mythorian! I appriciate the comment and yes like @codingwithjiro mentions, there is a separate group (separate from DEV) that we hang out. It just so happen to be in DEV because of how many DEV members are in Virtual Coffee. Do feel free to join and glad the post makes sense :D

Glad to see you again!

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webdeveloperhyper profile image
Web Developer Hyper

Glad to see you're feeling positive! 😊 Let's DO IT!

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francistrdev profile image
FrancisTRᴅᴇᴠ (っ◔◡◔)っ

Thanks Hyper. Feeling a lot better now and appreciate your support :D

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codingwithjiro profile image
Elmar Chavez

@francistrdev thank you for sharing our deep talks here in DEV. I feel like more people should read these especially in today's society where pressure and anxiety are accelerated by social media. I love that it's always you that determines your success, never other people.

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francistrdev profile image
FrancisTRᴅᴇᴠ (っ◔◡◔)っ

Hey Elmar. Totally! It's worth mentioning that mental health has been on the rise recently and I think it's important to have these conversation time to time. Thanks for stopping by!

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isah_alamin_93d4e4d2ab01f profile image
Isah Alamin

I felt like you were talking directly to me. That constant feeling of self sabotage and regret, wishing you did more can really get to you. Thanks for the motivation, I needed this.

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francistrdev profile image
FrancisTRᴅᴇᴠ (っ◔◡◔)っ

Hey Isah! Glad it was motivating :D

Thanks for reading!

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isah_alamin_93d4e4d2ab01f profile image
Isah Alamin

Appreciate that! And thanks for writing it, it hit home.

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lovestaco profile image
Athreya aka Maneshwar

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FrancisTRᴅᴇᴠ (っ◔◡◔)っ

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edmundsparrow profile image
Ekong Ikpe

There's 1 other kind of "people" - "the 1 who refuses to change". I'm happy I read this post. 🫂

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francistrdev profile image
FrancisTRᴅᴇᴠ (っ◔◡◔)っ

Appreciate it Ekong :D

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harsh2644 profile image
Harsh

t's You three words that hit harder than any error message.

The uncomfortable realization that the common denominator is yourself. Not blame Just awareness.

Thanks for this Francis takes courage. 🙌

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francistrdev profile image
FrancisTRᴅᴇᴠ (っ◔◡◔)っ

Thanks Harsh and appreciate the comment :D

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