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Ben Halpern
Ben Halpern

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A Major Announcement for the DEV Community

It is the first day of a new financial quarter, and I am excited to announce some big changes for dev.to. Today we follow in the footsteps of great financial innovators such as Elizabeth Holmes and Kenneth Lay. In a bold (some might say heroic) move, we will be deprecating the web-facing dev.to client in favor of a blockchain client. As we all know, the blockchain (which invented the concept of trust) is becoming a critical component of all earthly ideas, from credit card processing to phrenology. We are simply getting ahead of the curve.

Instead of simply typing in the dev.to URL, our users will now have the privilege of jumping through a multi-step process of connecting to your own RPC server and control your connection to dev.to. But don't worry, browsing will take minutes, instead of only a few milliseconds like you're used to. We expect a major bump in average session duration due to these innovations.

By now you might be asking "Ben, isn't this all incredibly inefficient?" and to answer that question, I present you our very lengthy white paper, which will address any asinine doubts you might have about our heist offering.

Without further ado, introducing the first DEV currency: UniCoin. It's called UniCoin to pay tribute to the "unicorn" term in private finance. Also known as the pinnacle of human achievement. For some reason, we've felt it crucial to intertwine currency with basic data storage and networking. But it's the wave of the future, right? Right?

Unicoin makes use of the revolutionary "proof of blind faith" algorithm. It builds on proof of trust and proof of stake but relies on a concept as old as humanity itself. I urge you to join us in our mission to make the world a better place through blockchain technology.

If this is all too complicated, but you still want to give us your money, feel free to use PayPal. This is another perfectly valid way to exchange your money for absolutely nothing in return.

The DEV Community, making the world a better place.

Top comments (68)

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jvarness profile image
Jake Varness

This is the greatest news I've read all day! I'm configuring my connection right now!

so power. much innovate. many chain. such block. wow.

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ben profile image
Ben Halpern

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anubhav0fnu profile image
Anubhav

hey Jake,
How you gonna do that, could you point me to a blog post that will help to configure it, I am new to decentralized application domain(blockchains)

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jvarness profile image
Jake Varness

I just put my Yelp API token in my package.json file and executed now and VOILA!!

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ben profile image
Ben Halpern

I forgot to mention. All posts not on the subject of blockchain will henceforth be banned. It's time to step into the future sheeple.

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remotesynth profile image
Brian Rinaldi

Oh, so essentially you're becoming Hacker Noon 🤣

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ben profile image
Ben Halpern

We prefer to term it "ascending into greatness"

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peter profile image
Peter Kim Frank • Edited

🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄
🦄🦄 We'll be announcing details for our UniCoin ICO very soon 🦄🦄
🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄

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kaydacode profile image
Kim Arnett 

TAKE MY MONEY

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jlleblanc profile image
Joe LeBlanc

More like MAKE MY MONEY, amirite?

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michaelgv profile image
Mike

Although it’s a great April fools joke, it presents a seriously good idea:

For privacy concerned folks like me who enjoy the power to control ones data and connections, the concept of a decentralized option for dev.to intrigues me.

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ben profile image
Ben Halpern

On a serious note, me too and we're gradually trying to build with that in mind.

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michaelgv profile image
Mike

What would be nice is for those who wish to decentralize, dev.to becomes a peer tracker, and everyone connects via peers. Accounts are identified by a UUID, and a GPG private key on your device to sign the message, and you can post direct to dev.to API or via other peers to give a layer of abstraction.

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jvanbruegge profile image
Jan van Brügge

You should take a look at the dat project.

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jrohatiner profile image
Judith

Totally agree. We can all support Beaker!😃

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webgrrrl profile image
Lorna Timbah

My sense of humour is slightly underdeveloped, so could someone verify that this is an April's Fool joke?

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jess profile image
Jess Lee

Verified

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dioramic_life profile image
dioramic_life

I just liquidated 70% of my 401K to get in on this, but Paypal won't let me send that much. Who do I talk to about an alternative means of payment? I don't want to miss out. This is the biggest deal since Dodd-Frank!

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dgubert profile image
Douglas Gubert

"But don't worry, browsing will take minutes, instead of only a few milliseconds like you're used to. We expect a major bump in average session duration due to these innovations."

Laughed out loud at this one xD

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theminshew profile image
Michael Minshew

Its not an analytics bounce if session times improve, you guys care for our security and seo in the same step. Much love!

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michaeldober profile image
Michael Ober

Great April Fools post. It does, however, raise two issues surrounding security. These issues are usability and actual security. For the average user, if securing something means making it not as usable they simply won't secure it. Security without user ease is wasted time, effort, and money.

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supersolar profile image
Kirk Solar

I LOVE the new logo shown in the hero image! Please tell me you are making “dad-style” hats with that logo. I want to represent UniCoin and look like Ron Howard at the same time. Please take all my 💰!!

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reisclef profile image
Richard C • Edited

Lol! I admit I don't know much about blockchain technology, but I believed it until the minutes which used to take milliseconds! :D

Edit: I just remembered who Kenneth Lay is.... Brilliant! The foreboding tone in the email linking to the post was a great set up too. Well done Ben.

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jrohatiner profile image
Judith

Bravo! Well done! U had me until “lengthy browsing” 😂😂

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enirate profile image
Eniola Lucas Fakeye

APRIL FOOL. JUST CHECK THE LINK TO GREAT FINANCIAL INNOVATORS. SAVAGE FROM DEV.TO

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eljayadobe profile image
Eljay-Adobe

UniCoin 🦄...

UniCoin to rule them all,
UniCoin to find them;
UniCoin to bring them all
and on the internet bind them.

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leob profile image
leob

Brilliant! When will it go live, tomorrow?

Next step, you will acquire Facebook, thusly expanding your installed base by a factor of a few million, and rewrite FB with Blockchain too, but that will take a few more weeks ... right?

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saschadev profile image
Der Sascha

It compiles... So ship it

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flexdinesh profile image
Dinesh Pandiyan

Sheet! Ben, you got me scared for a moment. Only after going through the comments section, I realized this is an April Fools joke. Damn.

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senornigeria profile image
Adekoyejo Akinhanmi

Same here

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blackbird profile image
Omkar Ajnadkar

Happy April Fool to everyone...